Something New for Us Both
by brittanablog
Summary: Brittany and Santana have been friends for years, but could there be something more? They slowly explore the depth of their relationship.  Written in the world of WMHS, though events from the show have been taken out of order and context.
1. Chapter 1: Getting Ready

"OK, so we're still on for the concert at BreadStix tonight, right?" I asked with a smile as I got out of the car.

"Absolutely! Pick you up at eight," Santana said as she winked at me and slowly drove off.

I was still smiling as I walked through my front door and headed up to my room. I had a sneaking suspicion that Lord Tubbington had been reading my diary again, and since Cheerios practice was cancelled today and I was home early, I wanted to catch him in the act. I dropped my backpack on the couch in the living room and started tip-toeing towards the stairs when I heard my mom from the kitchen.

"Britt? Is that you? Come in here!" she called.

*Sigh* I turned around and strolled back into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

"What's up, Mom?"

"Just wanted to find out how your day went. I feel like I never talk to you anymore. Why aren't you at Cheerios practice?

"Oh, Coach Sylvester cancelled it for today. She's really depressed about losing her campaign for Congress, so I think she's going on some retreat in the Andes Mountains where they hunt their own food and cook it over an open flame. Or something like that." Mom furled her brow and kind of scoffed with a smile, shaking her head. She's always thought Coach was extreme, but she probably thinks I'm exaggerating.

_I'm not._

"So how _was_ your day, hun?"

"Oh, my day was fine. I'm going to a concert with Santana tonight, but I have some homework I have to do beforehand. She's picking me up at 8, will dinner be ready before that, Ma?"

"How's six sound? I'm cooking pot roast!"

I gave her a smile and a nod and headed back upstairs with my books. I walked into my room and instantly started looking for Lord Tubbington and my diary. I am pretty sure I did have homework to do, but considering the fact that I don't even know what classes I am taking, the chance of that happening are about as good as Kurt being next in line to accidentally impregnate Quinn. I stared at my desk. Hadn't I left my diary there? Hmmm. I glanced over at my bay window, and could see Lord Tubbington's tail sticking out from under the curtains. I walked over and pulled the curtain back, swooping up the fat cat in one smooth motion.

"Well hello there, Mr. Nosypants." I said as I nuzzled his face. But I looked down to the window sill, and there was no diary to be found. "Did you eat it, Lord Tubbington? Oh no, did you use it in your litter box again?" I gave him the meanest glare I could muster and dropped him on the bed while I continued my search. After eliminating the litter box as the Lord's hiding place, I looked in all my drawers, under my pillows, and in my bathroom.

_Humph_.

I plopped on my bed, defeated and confused, as I still couldn't find my diary. I mindlessly stroked Lord Tubbington's belly next to me on the bed, squeezed my eyes close tight and tried to remember the last time I wrote in it. It had definitely been a while.

_Has it been since before I joined the Glee club?_

After drawing a blank, I shrugged my shoulders and looked over at the clock. It was 4:07. I needed to shower and get dressed around five, so I could eat dinner with my family at six, and still have time to finish my make-up and hair before Santana picked me up at eight.

_Perfect._

I sat down at my desk and logged into my email. I had three emails: one spam, one that my grandma sent me asking me what she should get my mom for her birthday, and one from Artie.

_Why is Artie emailing me?_

I opened it up and almost screamed for joy when I realized what it was. Artie and Puck had received in school suspension the past three days for attempting to spike the punch bowl at junior prom, and apparently it had given Artie lots of time to catch up on his school work, because he had sent me a copy of all of that night's homework assignments—completed. For the obvious reasons, I opened the documents and changed the wording of some of the answers and purposely misspelling and getting a few wrong. I didn't want to get caught turning in an identical assignment.

_This is weird_, I thought to myself, _nine months ago, I didn't even know who Artie was. Why is he being so nice to me?_

"Maybe Santana was right," I mumbled aloud to no one. She had told me a few weeks ago that "Stubbles McCripplepants" had a crush on me, but I didn't really believe her. Santana isn't used to people being nice to her unless they want to get up her Cheerios skirt, but Artie just seemed like a good guy. I finished changing the answers on Artie's homework, changed the font to Comic Sans (which I used for all the assignments I actually finished), and printed it on pink construction paper. I looked down at the clock on my phone: 4:32.

"SWEET!" I yelled.

With almost half an hour to kill before I needed to shower, I resumed the hunt for my diary. Finally, it hit me:

_It's in the shower!_

I put in the shower a few days ago, because Lord Tubbington is afraid of water, and I figured it was the best way to keep him from snooping. I reached up to the top shelf of my corner shelves and pulled out my diary from behind my shampoo bottle. I frowned at the big glop of conditioner on the side, and wiped it off with a towel. I sat back down at my desk and pulled out my favorite pencil, with a unicorn eraser at the top.

_Dear Me,_

_It's amazing how life has changed since I started writing in this diary. I've made a whole new group of friends through the Glee club, and found another way to dance on a regular basis. Coach Sylvester tries to incorporate some dance moves into our Cheerios routines, but it's nothing like the dancing I get to do with New Directions. Plus, I love having Mike Chang around to dance with, too. I've never really had anyone to dance with that can keep up with me, but he is probably better than I am. It's a nice challenge. I've also learned that I'm not a bad singer, either. Of course, I can't sing as well as Rachel or Mercedes, and I especially can't do that smoky, sexy thing with my voice that Santana does, but I am a good back-up singer, and they've let me do a solo here and there, too. Glee club has basically given me a new family, and that's been nice. Plus, they don't make fun of me and call me stupid like some of the girls on Cheerios. I love my cheer girls, but they can be really mean sometimes. _

_Being in Glee club has also made me and Santana that much closer. Even before Glee club, we were best friends, and have been since middle school. But we had always also been really close to other Cheerios, and it's never really been just the two of us. But now that Quinn got pregnant and was kicked off the squad, we're together all the time. Some of the Cheerios look down on us because we're in the Glee club, and some of the people in the Glee club (mainly Rachel) still think we're only in it because Coach Sylvester made us. Of course, that's why we started in the club, but we have both come to love it, though Santana would never admit that to anyone but me. Like I'd already said, I've loved making new friends, and having an outlet for my dancing, but I know Santana has really appreciated the unconditional love and support that everyone in New Directions gives one another. She's a very hard person to get to know, because she has lead somewhat of a hard life in Lima Heights, and she isn't used to people helping each other out for the sake of simply helping them. As amazing as she is, she doesn't trust that other people think she's amazing, too. But I think Glee club is helping her with that. And it makes me so happy to see her becoming happier, too._

_OK, well, I guess that's a good update for now. Time to shower and get ready for the concert!_

_Hugs and Unicorns,_

_~Me_

I closed the book while a smile on my face, but that quickly turned to a frown when I spotted Lord Tubbington eyeing me from across the room. I checked the clock, 5:04, glared back at Lord Tubbington, and held my diary tightly to my chest as I carried it into the bathroom to hop in the shower.

At the dinner table I devoured the pot roast and mashed potatoes.

_How is it possible for my mom to be this good of a cook?_

The dinner conversation was the same as usual; everyone took turns saying what new was going on in their lives and we all soaked it in. My little sister had just joined the soccer team at her middle school, and was the new goalie, so she was pretty pumped about that. My dad was up for a promotion at the business he worked at, though I never really understood what he did. Something about sales and marketing and public relations? Or maybe none of those three.

After dinner I helped my dad do some of the dishes before realizing that I had to finish getting ready for BreadStix. I hustled upstairs and took a long look in my full-length mirror.

_Great outfit, Brittany. Now for the make-up and hair_.

I expertly stroked on some smoky gray eye shadow and a touch of mascara, pulling my hair half-way up and twisting it, putting a clip in at the top. I had dried it with a bunch of waves in it tonight, so it had a lot of volume. "Sexy hair" is what Santana had always called it. I laughed a little when I thought of that.

A little bit of soft pink lipstick and a coat of gloss over it finished off my look. Back to the mirror.

"Dark, tight, slightly ripped jeans? Check. Black halter top? Check. Black stilettos? Check. Make-up and killer hair, to boot? Check."

_Damn, I looked good. Eat your heart out, boys._

*Honk, honk!*

I looked out the window to see Santana's black SUV in the driveway, her with her head sticking out the window looking up at me with a smile. I grabbed my purse and my cell phone and headed downstairs, saying a quick "bye" to my parents and sister, who were in the living room watching TV as I headed out the door and towards the passenger side of her car. I opened the door and hopped in, looking at her with a smile.

"Ready for the concert?" I asked.

She just stared at me for a moment before muttering, "Uhh… yeah… Sure am!"

_Was she checking me out?_


	2. Chapter 2: The Concert

Santana's SUV pulled into a parking spot at Breadstix and we started walking towards the door. The two of us had idly chat on the short drive over, but I still couldn't stop thinking that I had never seen Santana look at me the way I did when I got in her car. She has hinted to me before that she thought some girls were hot, and it confused her, but I guess I didn't think much of it. And she'd always jokingly told me that I'm hot and such, but we're best friends. That's what best friends do. I tell her how hot she is almost every day. But right now, right now I couldn't help but think she was… _blushing?_

_Is that possible?_

"That shirt looks really good on you tonight, Britt. Is it new?"

Santana's voice interrupted my thoughts, but just cemented the idea further into my brain.

"Uh… yeah, I bought it last weekend when I went shopping with Mom and and my sister. And, thanks."

I was trying hard not to let her know what was running through my mind. We showed our fake-ID's to the bouncer, and while he barely looked at San's, he gave mine a nice, hard look. I was nervous, but I flashed him a flirty smile and he finally handed it back to me with a nod. Though Breadstix was a good old family restaurant most of the time, on Saturday nights at 8 it turned into an all-out club. They dimmed the main lights and turned on club lights, erected a small stage on one side, and moved a lot of tables out of the way to create a standing space in front. We went inside and found our 'usual' table. As we sat down, Santana started talking about the latest thing her Mom had done to piss her off, when a huge and evil grin crossed her face. I knew our server for the night must have been headed to the table.

"Good evening Santana, Brittany," Rachel quipped with a forced smile, "Shouldn't you both be practicing your vocals or choreography for Regionals next week? You know, I picked up this extra job to help pay for our costumes because I am, obviously, the member of New Directions who needs the least practice and…"

"Ohmigod, pipe down, Streisand, and please take two steps back so your nose juice doesn't drip from your enormously large beak onto our table," Santana sneered.

I kicked her under the table, and she winced at the blow to her shin.

_You know I hate it when you're mean to her, and to anyone in Glee_, I told her with a glare. Santana forced a smile and turned back towards Rachel. "I'm sorry, Berry. But no, we're not practicing tonight. Britt-Britt and I are gonna gets our lady dance and drank on, and then we'll tip you enough to buy as many gold star stickers you need to award yourself for mediocre behavior."

It was true. Though Santana and Rachel didn't particularly care for one another, they had an unspoken agreement that Rachel wouldn't rat us out for our fakes as long as Santana kept leaving her fat tips.

"Ok, Santana. What alcoholic beverage would you like to destroy your vocal chords this evening?"

"Vodka-cranberry and a Newcastle, please!" Santana said, dripping with disdain and sarcasm.

Rachel huffed off and Santana and my attention turned to each other again.

"So who's playing tonight?" I asked.

"Will Hoge. He's a soul-rock singer from Nashville with a few really cool underground albums."

"Neat. Have you seen him in concert before?"

"Once a few years ago. Puck took me on a date to one of his shows. I think I'll enjoy him a lot more tonight than I did before though; better company."

_There she goes again. Is she really going to hit on me all night?_

"Oh, San. You're too sweet," I said, dragging out the last two words to emphasize that I was mocking her.

Rachel returned with our drinks and we switched to people watching as we downed our first drink. Listening to Santana tear up people she didn't know was probably the funniest thing on the planet to me. Her digs and cuts were hilarious. I really don't know where she came up with some of it. But, really, I sat there trying not to spit my vodka drink on her as she made fun of almost everyone else in the club.

"I mean, look at her. She looks like Christina Aguilera in the "Dirty" video. Except with 30 more pounds in her ass and after being run over by a semi."

That did it. I lost it with laughter to the point where I realized everyone within a 20-foot radius was staring at me. Santana started laughing at me for not being able to stop laughing, and eventually Rachel stormed back over.

"Would you two PLEASE stop making such a scene in my section? You're scaring away all the rest of my customers!"

"Don't hate us because we know how to have a good time without a microphone, Berry."

"Bite me, Santana!"

"No thanks, you're not my type, but we will take another round!" Santana yelled at her as she stormed off, running into a bunch of customers on her way back to the bar side.

I was finally able to stifle the rest of my laughter when Santana turned to me and put a hand on my thigh to get my attention. I slightly jumped and looked at her with a slightly shocked and confused look on my face. As if she read my mind, she blushed in embarrassment and then smiled.

"I bet you can't chug your drink faster than I can chug my beer."

"San! That's silly and dumb. I don't want to get drunk."

"I see. You're right. I wouldn't want to school you in front of everyone anyways. It's probably for the best," she said with a smug smirk on her face.

I smiled and took the bait, "Okay, Ms. CockyPants. You're on!"

As if on cue, Rachel came and set our respective drinks on the table. We looked at each other for half a second and then simultaneously grabbed our drinks and started gulping. The vodka burned the whole way down and I could feel the sweetness from the cranberry starting to coat my teeth, but I glanced over and noticed that Santana was three-fourths of the way done with her beer. I closed my eyes and turned up the glass, swallowing the last few drops as the ice cubes slide to the rim of the glass and land on my nose. I start laugh-choking as I slammed the glass on the table in triumph.

"Hah! Take that, Lopez! Eat your words!"

Santana smiled as she set her beer down with about two inches left on the bottom.

"What's there for you to be smiling about? I just beat you!"

"I'm smiling because in about two minutes those first two drinks are going to hit you, and then I'm going to take advantage of you."

I froze in my seat with my face completely void of all emotion. My heart started racing, not really sure what was going on.

_I've never heard her say something that blatant to anyone before, even the guys she was already sleeping with!_

"What… uhh… what, do you mean… by that, San?"

"I mean, _I_ want to dance tonight, and you _know_ how I hate to dance alone because all those gross boys will start trying to dance with me. And even though you're like, the best dancer in the world, I know you hate to dance in clubs like this, so I needed to get you drunk so you'd actually act like my best friend and be my airbag out there."

"Oh," I sighed a silent sigh of relief, "Hahaha, Okay, San. You know, I am a pretty good friend. You could have actually been a normal perrrrson and just asssskkked me I would have ttttotally come out there with youuuu!"

"Oh, this is awesome. You're already drunk, aren't you, Brittany?"

"NOOOO!"

Rachel walked over with two more drinks and set them on the table.

"I know you didn't order them, and don't think this means I approve of your _underage drinking_, but you two _are_ some of my best customers, so this round is on me." She had whispered the part about "underage drinking," so as to not draw attention to our table.

I gave her a huge grin of drunken thanks, but Santana seemed too stunned at the fact Rachel was doing something nice to reply with one of her witty remarks. I promptly picked up me drink and started sipping it through the tiny mixing straw while staring right down to the bottom of the glass. After a few seconds, I looked up at Santana and notices she was just sitting there smiling at me.

"What are you looking at?"

"Oh, nothing," she said as she looked down, "just you."

She had looked back up at me and stared at me right in the eyes when she said those last two words. My heart started beating fast again, and I didn't really know how to respond, so I just kept drinking. The next thing I knew Santana was standing next to me. She was setting my drink on the table with one hand and grabbing me by the wrist with the other.

"Let's dance!"

I let her drag me to the dance floor, but I was totally okay with it because she pulled us to the front near the stage. Will Hoge had just walked out to take the mic. After welcoming the crowd and introducing himself, he started with a crazy rocking song called, "Secondhand Heart." Apparently this was a fairly old song, because almost everyone else in the place was singing along. It seemed as though I was the only person in the club that hadn't heard his music before. Santana and I jumped around enjoying the song, and I couldn't help but get happier as I watched her sing along. That song ended, and he transitioned straight into another equally energetic song. Everyone around us was totally into the music, and it was a lot of fun. Plus, being pretty buzzed didn't hurt either. "I'm gonna go grab a few sips of my beer, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere!" Santana yelled to be heard above the speakers in front of us.

I nodded and returned my attention to the stage. I was really loving this song. He didn't announce its name, but from the lyrics I was pretty sure it was called "Pocket Full of Change." I picked up on the words of the chorus and was able to sing along by the end.

_I got a pocket full of change_

_But everything's the same_

_A man could go insane_

_Trying to make it in this game_

_I got a pocket full of change_

The song finished and he began singing his third number.

_Where is Santana? I thought she would be back by now. Oh well._

I started looking around and people watching, but it wasn't as much fun without her commentary. I noticed a guy a few feet away looking at me. He was very handsome: a few inches taller than me, sandy blond hair, bright green eyes, great, pouty lips, very tan and toned. He walked over to me and stuck a hand out in greeting.

"Hey there. Name's Sam. It's good to see at least one other person here doesn't know every word to his stuff," he smiled a huge, gorgeous smile.

I took his hand in mine. "Brittany. And I know! I feel like I've been living under a rock or something."

We both laughed and continued the strained conversation over the remainder of the song. He asked me if I wanted a drink and I directed him to my table, saying that I already had one over there. He nodded and pointed to the bar and the table, signaling that he was going to get himself a drink and pick up mine for me on the way back. I nodded and gave him a shy smile as he walked away.

The song that had been playing ended and Will started telling some story about how a girl fainted at his last show while he was singing his next song.

"It's called "Lover Tonight." I hope you all enjoy it," he said with a slight Southern drawl as he turned to his keyboard player and signaled him to start singing.

I started to get lost in this song. It had an amazing melody and Will Hoge's voice had the ability to just melt over you. About halfway through the song, I felt a warm hand wrap around my right hip and pull me back. The two bodies were pressed together, and I leaned back slightly, happily taking the drink that was pushed into my left hand. A grin crossed my face.

_Man, this guy worked fast. But he was good, so no complaints._

I turned my head back to wink at him, but as I did I saw him just leaving the bar and heading towards the table I had pointed to. Confused, I turned the rest of the way around to be greeted by big, warm brown eyes.

_Santana?_


	3. Chapter 3: Questions

I tried to just relax.

_Breathe in, breathe out._

At this moment, Santana had her right hand on my hip and her left on my shoulder. My back was pressed so hard into her front that most people would have had a hard time determining who was who. My heart was beating faster than it ever had before. I could feel her own heart beating into my back. They were almost in rhythm.

I was still staring over my shoulder and into her eyes when I saw Sam start walking back towards me, slightly confused. I turned all the way around and was greeted with Santana's pearly white teeth in a giant smile as she slid her left hand down my side and interlocked her hands just behind the small of my back. We looked like we were dancing together.

"Where did you go? What took you so long?" I asked her in the quietest voice I could manage over Will Hoge's playing. Our eyes remained locked. I had never realized what a beautiful shade of dark brown they were. A chill ran up my spine, and almost as if she could feel me getting colder, she pulled me in even tighter. My head was spinning and my heart, for what felt like the millionth time that night, felt like it was going to leap from my chest. I had almost forgotten what question I had answered when her reply quickly brought me back down.

"To the bar. I had a shot or two and then decided to be thoughtful and bring you your drink. You okay, Britt?" Santana looked at me with a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah, uh… yeah, I'm totally fine," I managed. I started to twist out of her hands, but decided against it. They felt comfortable there. I noticed that Sam was getting closer by the second, and as he walked up, I took the liberty of introducing them. "Santana, meet Sam. Sam—Santana," I said.

They both smiled at each other and Santana released me from her grasp to shake his hand. I noticed Sam giving her a glance from head to toe, and I felt the pangs of jealousy wash over me. Was I really jealous of Santana for grabbing his attention? No, I couldn't be!

_I don't want him looking at Santana this way._

I was kind of taken aback by the thought that just bombarded my brain, but I realized it was true. I hated seeing his eyes undress her. Initially I was confused by my thoughts.

_I must like him more than I realized._

The sensual song Will had been singing ended, and he began one called "Woman, Be Strong," which I realized I had heard before. I loved it. It was slow and meaningful, but it had so much energy to it. The crowd was going wild, and the three-way awkwardfest was halted in its tracks as we all turned our attention to the stage for the remainder of the song. Though we were all facing the stage, with Sam standing between us, I couldn't help but feel as though Santana's hands were still on me and her eyes were still baring into me.

_Here goes my heart again_.

As he finished up, I had sipped the remaining drops out of my vodka-cranberry and turned to Santana, seeing her swallow the final gulps of what must have been her fifth Newcastle. I decided that she probably needed to sit down.

"Follow me," I instructed as I led her back to our table. Sam followed, which I didn't mind. We all took a seat, and I motioned at Rachel across the bar to bring us three waters. It was getting late.

_We all should head home soon._

Sam grabbed a chair from the next table over, and pulled it up to the side of our table. I still couldn't tell whose pants he was trying to get into, but I knew that neither choice would be a success for him. He was nice and all, but he was a lot older, and I had made myself promise that I would get Santana home once I realized how much she drank. And Santana? Well she was so drunk that she had been twirling and staring at her own hair for almost three minutes, so she wasn't in any shape to go home with anyone.

After a little time had passed, I finally felt sober enough to drive, and had convinced Santana that I wouldn't wreck her car on the way to her house. I stood up and tried to give a waving goodbye to the green-eyed hottie, but as soon as I signaled that I was leaving, he held a finger in the air and mouthed for me to wait a second. I stopped and held onto Santana to keep her from wondering away. A few seconds later, I was inches away from Sam and he was telling me how much enjoyed spending time with me that night.

"Yeah, I totally agree! We should hang out again soon!"

I sounded like a complete moron. I didn't really want to hang out with him again. From the bland conversation we had during the rest of the time at the table, I had decided he must have no personality. But I didn't have the heart to flat-out turn him down like this.

He grinned, "Can I get your number then, Brittany?"

"Sure!" I said, with the unavoidable smile plastered to my face. Inside, I knew I was never going to answer a call from him, but it definitely boosted my ego that such a smokin' hot guy found me attractive.

He turned back to walk back towards the bar, and suddenly my attention was averted back to the drunk girl I was escorting.

"Are you okay, San?"

"Oh yeah, Britt. I'm fine. You know I could kick that trouty-mouth motherfucker's ass, though. Right?"

For a split second I didn't know who or what she was talking about, until I looked back over my shoulder and stole one last glance of Sam's lips.

_Trouty mouth. Hah!_

I couldn't help but chuckle under my breath, even though I didn't understand Santana's desire to declare her dominance over the prick. I decided to amuse her.

"Of course I know that! You are such a badass, San! Everyone knows that!"

On the inside I was laughing, but on the outside I knew that Santana was reveling in what I said, as I saw the battle between the two of them being played out in her head.

"Get in the car, San. I'm gonna drive you home. Though I know that I'm sober enough to be driving, my parents would kick _my _ass if they knew I got behind the wheel after even a drop. So I'm staying at your place once we get there."

"That's great!" she said, with a little too much enthusiasm.

I chuckled to myself, "Well, someone's in a good mood, aren't they?" I asked.

"I'm always in a good mood when I'm with you, Brittany…"

I looked over at the brunette and momentarily got lost in the same look I had seen in BreadStix when I caught her looking at me before, and over my shoulder while looking for Sam. Santana had her gaze completely connected with mine, and for what felt like the millionth time tonight, my heart started racing at the idea of Santana flirting with me. I decided that, A) she was drunk, B) I was slightly tipsy and, thus, more gutsy than usual, and C) that the timing seemed right. I was going to ask Santana a few questions.

We emerged from the smoky restaurant and into the night air, making the final trek to her car. She was struggling a bit, so I had my arm around her waist, with hers around my shoulder on the way out. I smiled to myself.

I love being this close to someone. Where you know you've always got someone to take care of you.

At the end of the drive, I pulled into her driveway, and she started to reach for the handle. I grabbed her other hand and pulled her towards me across the console of the car.

"Wait…" I uttered. "Don't get out of the car yet. I need to ask you something."

"Ok, Britt, baby. What's up?" She leaned in a little closer, and we were only inches away in the front seat. I could see her eyes trying to concentrate on me, but I also knew they were struggling to just stay awake.

"I… uhhh… it's just… well…"

I could sense Santana turning the rest of her body to face me. I could feel her face harden with concern as I stumbled over my words, deciding that there was no way I wanted to word things incorrectly.

"Brittany! Just spit it out already!" Santana was still on the border between buzzed and drunk, which made me kind of nervous. But, the good news was she had woken up a little bit more once she realized that I was going to say something of substance.

_Do I really want to risk her not remembering this conversation?_

But then I realized that there was no way I would have the 'balls' to have this conversation with her when we were both completely sober.

"OK, San. Here it is." I took a huge breath in and out before I started speaking the longest run-on sentence of my life: "I might be totally making this up and if I am then I am sorry because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable and I don't want you to think that I am uncomfortable with it, but I can't help but feel as though you've been hitting on me all day and I've never felt you do that before but it seemed like something changed and so I guess I just want to know what you're thinking or if I'm making this all up because I don't want you to be falling in love with me if it will mess up our friendship and that wouldn't be fair because you're my best friend and I'm your best friend and we should tell each other what is going on in our lives so please just tell me if I'm crazy or not because I won't be able to sleep until you do."

Suddenly I could see the emotions drain from Santana's face as she absorbed what I had said.

_Oh no, had I embarrassed her? Had I gone too far with my questions?_

We both sat there, staring into each others' eyes with more intensity than either of us knew possible. I could feel the fear growing inside of her, so I placed my right hand on her left forearm again, trying to give her the reassurance enough to talk. She averted her eyes when I laid my hand on her, and I heard her breath catch. After what seemed like an eternity of us boring our eyes into each other's, she split her lips open to speak.

"Brittany, I can't have this conversation with you right now. I need some sleep. I need to process what you asked me."

I was suddenly aware of the fact that my rambling had knocked her out of her inebriated state into one of complete sobriety.

_Shit_.

I wasn't going to get any real response from her tonight, so I got out of the car briefly after she did, and we walked silently upstairs to her room. Without my prompting, she tossed me a beater and boxer shorts to sleep in, and with our backs to each other, we changed into our pajamas. My mind was still racing.

Why wouldn't she answer my questions if she didn't have anything to hide? She MUST have been hitting on me, then, right?

It seemed as if the more I thought about it, the more my concern and obsession with her playfulness tonight grows. In less than twelve hours we had gone from her gushing about some new hot girl in her Economics class, to her wrapping a hand around my waist during a 'slow dance' tonight.

That hand…

My thoughts trailed off, and I didn't really know what they meant.

Had I liked it? No! Of course not! I thought it was Sam… of course!

I began to get slightly more secure with my emotions when the most vivid memory of the night came flooding back into my memory.

_When I realized it was Santana, my heart began racing faster than it has ever raced for anyone before._


	4. Chapter 4: Holding Her

After getting dressed, washing our faces and brushing our teeth in complete silence, we crawled into bed. I've always thought Santana's king size bed was enormous, but tonight it seemed as though we couldn't get far enough away from each other without falling onto the floor. I laid there on my side—my back to hers—and stared at the wall.

I made a huge mistake. I should have never told Santana I thought she was hitting on me. Now, if she was, she's going to be super embarrassed. And if she wasn't, then I look like a conceited fool.

I laid there for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality, only fourteen minutes had ticked off the clock on the table next to the bed.

_This is going to be a long night._

I could feel Santana tossing and turning in the bed.

_She's as miserable as I am._

But a few seconds later, I felt it again: a warm slender hand sliding over my waist, just above my hip bone. My shirt had come up a bit when I laid down, so she was touching bare skin. My skin tingled and burned at her touch, and all the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I gasped slightly when I felt her warm breath on my ear, but I didn't dare move.

"Britt…" Santana whispered, "are… are you still awake?"

I slowly turned around to face her, not really sure what to make of the situation. As I turned she didn't move her hand, so as I rolled it slid onto my stomach, where it now rested. Our eyes connected with the same intensity they had the night before. It took me a moment to realize it, but there was an added twinkle in her eye; she had been crying. This jolted me to the core, and I sat up a bit, putting one hand on the side of her shoulder. I felt the same fire on my hand that was burning on my stomach where her hand lay.

"Yes, Santana. Yes. I'm awake. I haven't been able to sleep. Listen, I am sorry about what I said earlier, it was completely out of line. I don't know what came over me but I can see that it upset you, and…"

"Brittany, stop. It's ok." She took a deep breath and propped herself up with both arms. She blushed as she moved her hand off my stomach, as if she wasn't even aware it was there before. "I'm sorry it took me so long to say this to you…"

"San, my word vomit was only an hour or so ago. It's fine," I said, trying to lighten the mood with my description of the one-sided conversation in the car.

"No, Britt, I don't think you understand. I should have said what I'm about to say to you months ago." She stopped talking and buried her face in her hands, shaking her head as if she didn't believe what was happening. Instinctively and unconsciously, I put a hand on the closest part of her body I could reach, just wanting to touch her to give her encouragement and reassurance. I felt her shiver.

"Britt…" she faltered, "…please don't."

Santana said it so softly I barely heard it. I looked down and realized my hand was on her thigh. I quickly moved my hand, but I felt heat rise up to my cheeks and I instantly understood. We sat there in silence for another minute or two. The silence was deafening. Tension was filling the air and practically smothering me. Finally, Santana began to speak.

"Brittany, since the first day I met you, on the first day of middle school, I have felt a connection to you that I have never felt with anyone in my entire life. And as time has gone by, that connection has only grown, and our relationship has only become stronger. Over the past few years, I've thought I understood what life was about. I thought I knew who I was and who I wanted to be. But then, recently, you've brought out a side of me that I never knew existed. You're so kind, and so open, and so loving of everyone around you. And it's made me realize how guarded and angry I am. So I've been doing some thinking over the past few months. And what I realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time." She took a huge breath and paused for what seemed like an eternity. "I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all these feelings… feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences."

"San, I…"

"Britt, please wait. Please let me finish." I nodded. "So I've been thinking about all these feelings, and I've realized that when I'm with you, I'm not angry. When I'm with you, I feel real happiness, and understand what real relationships with other people are like. You make me want to be a better student, a better singer, a better friend… you make me want to be a better person."

"Oh San…"

"No, Brittany. You have to let me keep talking, please."

She sounded desperate, hurting. I nodded. I had never seen her feeling so vulnerable.

"You're so amazing. And I still have no idea what these feelings mean, or what I want them to mean, or if I even want them to mean anything, but they've just kind of boiled up. Every time you tilt your head to the side and smile at me with that captivating smile you have, I melt. Every time my skin touches yours, my heart starts racing and I feel like I'm on fire. I have been drinking you in every chance I get. But I've always tried to do it with subtlety, never wanting to make you uncomfortable, or risk messing up the friendship that we have."

She stopped and took a big breath, holding up one finger as if to signal that she isn't done.

"Tonight though, Britt, I don't know what came over me. You got into my car, and you just took my breath away. You have never looked so beautiful to me, so perfect. I was overwhelmed, and everything I had been bottling up for so long just came rushing to the surface. I messed up by getting you drunk, and then drinking so much myself. Somehow, in my fucked up head, I thought that being drunk would make things easier on me, on you… oh I don't know…" Her voice faded away. "I understand if you're freaked out, or if you hate me for really trying to take advantage of you or if you never want to talk to me again. Honestly, after tonight, I don't know if I'll be able to be around you as much anymore…"

The last sentence stung. I didn't know what to think, or how to react to everything Santana was saying to me, but I knew that I didn't want the result of this night to be that we would spend less time together.

"Is it ok, if I say something now?" I smiled meekly at her, but she didn't raise her head. I could see her shoulders rising and falling quickly, and I heard a faint squeak from her. She was crying again. I scooted across the bed and positioned myself next to her. I sat there for a moment, not quite sure of what I should or shouldn't do. We were sitting right next to each other, facing in opposite directions. Her crying intensified, and I realized that no matter what else was going on, this girl was my best friend, and I couldn't bear to watch her suffer anymore. I wrapped my left arm around her front and pulled her closer to me in an embrace. With my right hand, I tilted her head up from under her chin and started wiping the tears from her cheeks. I tried to force a smile, but I knew she wouldn't return it.

Finally, her crying started to subside and I wrapped my right arm the rest of the way around her. She rested her head on my shoulder, and after a few moments, I could sense her beginning to understand that I simply wanted to give her the comfort she needed. She returned the embrace, sliding her arms around my waist as well. After a while, I spoke very softly.

"Thank you, San. Thank you so much for being brave enough to be honest with me. I think we've both done enough talking for one night, but I will say that I promise you that everything will be okay. We'll figure this all out. Please, just don't shut me out. I don't know what I would do without you. You're my best friend, San."

I felt her head move on my shoulder and interpreted it as a nod.

"I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted now."

She lifted her head off my shoulder and looked up at me. I could tell by her expression, she agreed. We climbed under the covers, and I tried to fall asleep. Something was keeping me awake, though. Something didn't feel quite right.

I rolled over and looked at Santana. She had her back to me, and while we were lying a lot closer to each other than we had been earlier that evening, I still felt like she was miles away. I thought to myself for a moment, once again hesitating to do what I impulsively wanted to.

_This is silly, Brittany. What are you doing? Why are you hesitating?_

I moved myself closer to her on the bed, and I saw her stir as I moved. She was still awake. I laid down right behind her and pressed my body against hers, spooning her. I slid my left hand under her head and wrapped my right one around her stomach and settled my head into the pillow while embracing her. I had felt her freeze up when she sensed me behind her. I didn't let that stop me, and I knew it was all okay when I felt her put her own right hand over mine and interlock our fingers. She fell asleep almost immediately afterwards, because she started lightly snoring.

I couldn't help but smile.

_This felt right. Now I can sleep._

And we did, with me holding her.


	5. Chapter 5: The Yelling

The next morning I woke up an hour before Santana. I propped myself up over her, and watched her sleep. She had turned some in the night, resulting in me waking up facing her. But my arms were still around her and somehow she had managed to not let go of my hand. I smiled.

_She's really adorable when she's sleeping._

Being awake so much earlier than Santana gave me a lot of time to process the previous night's events. The one thing I knew to be true was that I couldn't stand it if she decided she couldn't spend as much time with me. I had to make it okay with her for us to continue acting as we always had. My thoughts drifted back to BreadStix, and it was all I could to keep the butterflies in my stomach in check when I remembered seeing that it was her behind me.

_What the hell? Why do I keep flashing back to that?_

After a while, I felt Santana stirring under me, and when I looked down, she was staring up at me with a very nervous smile on her face.

"Good morning, San," I said, with a smile. "How are ya feeling? I was going to get up to get you some water, but I didn't want to disturb your sleep, so I just stayed."

"Oh, thanks, no, I'm okay. Umm… what about you? What, I mean, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm totally fine, San. There is nothing for you to be worried about. Regardless of any unrequited feelings you have for me, I'm not going anywhere, and I won't let you go anywhere either."

Santana gave a half smile and mumbled, "Cool," as she abruptly rolled over and sat up on the edge of the bed, feet dangling. "Breakfast?" She asked, without even turning around.

"Yeah, sure. Sounds good."

We both got up and went downstairs. I sat at the table in the kitchen, while she pulled out some cereal, milk, bowls and spoons and brought it all to the table. After setting it all down, she turned back around and started a pot of coffee, all while avoiding eye contact.

I broke the silence. "Tell me what you're thinking."

She turned around to face me, expressing no real emotions on her face.

"I'm thinking that I wish this damn coffee pot would hurry up before I fall asleep standing up."

"No, San, give me some credit here. I know you better than you know yourself, and I can tell that something is really bothering you. Please talk to me."

"You really want to know what is going through my head?" I nodded, and she walked over to the table and pulled me to my feet by my elbow. She was slightly shorter than I, so she was looking up into my face, completely serious.

"I want to know what was going through your mind when you wrapped your arms around me last night. I want to know why I could feel your heartbeat speed up when I took your hand. I want to know why you…" She took a deep breath, "…why you won't accept the fact that you feel the same way about me as I do about you."

I was completely taken aback by her bold statements. This is _not_ what I had expected. I gulped loudly, and my mind started racing for the answers to her questions.

_Those are all good questions. I wish I knew the answers myself._

I stuttered for a moment, "I… I, I…" I stopped and took a deep breath. "I've never seen you so sad. I didn't want you to hurt. I was just trying to comfort you." My voice faded away as I said the last sentence, "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have…"

Santana rolled her eyes at me and turned back into the kitchen to fetch her coffee. She brought two mugs back to the table and poured her bowl of cereal. She looked at her food the whole time she was eating. I just looked at her.

"Aren't you going to eat?" she finally spat out at me.

I shrugged and grabbed the box of Lucky Charms and milk. We ate our breakfasts in complete silence, and when we were done, she returned everything to its place with the same disdain towards me that she had pulled it all out to begin with. When she was done, she just stood in the kitchen with both hands flat on the counter and her head bowed. At last, I saw a drop of water fall from her face onto the counter. I didn't know what to do, but I knew what had worked the night before. I stood up and walked towards her in the kitchen. She must have been completely zoned out, because when I went to give her a hug, she jumped back, not knowing I was there.

I took another step towards her, trying to hold her as I had done the previous night, but she pushed me away.

"Stop it, Brittany." Her tone of voice was completely static.

I took another step forward and said, "Oh come on, San. Did I do something wrong?"

"No! Don't hug me, don't come any closer to me, and don't call me _San__ like that. You held me, like you felt something for me, and then made it really clear that the feelings were one-sided this morning. So just stop it."_

_She stopped talking, and I was completely taken aback. I just stared at her, wanting to comfort her because she was still crying. _She was yelling all of this through her tears, and she was holding her stomach now, bending over with every utterance that came from her mouth.

_"Can you stop staring at me? _ I can't think when you're staring at me."

I looked to the ground.

"Brittany, you have _no idea_ how I feel right now, and having you here, having you being this close to me—teasing me—I just absolutely cannot deal with it right now. Get your stuff. I'm taking you home." She quieted down a little for the last outburst, but there was still so much sadness in her words.

"Santana, you can't really mean that. You told me you had feelings for me."

"I honestly don't know what I was thinking." she spat as she turned back towards the front of her house.

_Please, Santana. Please don't shut me out!_

I wanted to yell this at her with everything I had, but I knew it would make it worse. I dropped my gaze again and ran upstairs to her room, gathering the rest of my stuff and headed back downstairs. Santana was already in the driver's seat, with the music blaring and the car started when I went outside. I quietly opened the door and got in her car, not daring to look at her. The music barely drowned out the silence, but the pain in the car was tangible.

_ I hate that I do this to her._

She pulled into my driveway and I wanted to hug her goodbye, but thought better of it. As I got out, I turned and meekly asked, "Can I call you later?"

She didn't flinch. Her eyes remained glued to the steering wheel, and I knew I wasn't going to get a response from her. I simply nodded and walked to my front door. As I always do, just before stepping in, I turned back to smile at her.

Her car was already gone.


	6. Chapter 6: Dreams

I walked into the house and began up the stairs.

"Brittany! Hey! Where were you last night?"

I brushed off my father's questions and simply walked upstairs, into my room, and shut the door. I leaned onto the closed door and reached down and turned the lock.

_I really don't want to talk to anyone right now._

I took a few steps towards my bed, but even before I could faceplant into the mattress, the tears had started to roll. I pulled a pillow down from the head of the bed to bury my face in. It was one of those loud and uncontrollable sobs.

_What did I do to make her feel this way? What can I do to get her back?_

I had never seen Santana look as broken as she did when she was yelling at me this morning. I had never seen _anyone_ look that hurt. The realization of the pain I was causing her pushed me over the edge, and I was sure at this point that I was crying so loudly that Santana could probably hear me from her mansion. My heart began beating so fast that I could feel the vibrations of its movements down to my feet. My entire body trembling, I pulled my feet up on the bed and turned onto my side, into the fetal position. I could hear my family at the door, wanting to talk to me. Mom, Dad, even my sister Kate. Though I was too lost in my own thought to decipher who was saying what, it all pretty much amounted to a bunch of questions and expressions of support. But none of that mattered.

_The only one who could comfort me now is Santana._

I felt myself grow tired, and I could feel my face pulsating in a wet swollen mess from all the tears that had crossed it that day. I let the need for sleep roll over me.

_I looked around at all the drunken people dancing and smiled. I loved BreadStix. Everyone was so genuine and so real and so nice. It was like having a hundred of the best friends you've never met, all in one place. The music washed over me, and I returned my gaze to the rocker before me._

I heard a loud and drunken, "I love youuuuu, Will!" from my left.

_I laughed at the drunk girl's declaration, and apparently Will Hoge had found it just as amusing. He smiled and waved at her. I immediately heard her squeal for joy, and I laughed to myself._

_I was getting thirsty, and I started scanning the crowd for the good looking guy I had just sent for my drink. Seeing him nowhere, I shrugged to myself and turned back towards the stage. He was singing an incredibly passionate song: Lover Tonight. About thirty short seconds into it, I was hooked, and I felt like he was singing only to me, but this was quickly shaken by the warm hand wrapping itself around my waist._

"It's about time you got back here with 'this'," _I slightly tilted the glass that had been placed into my other hand as I leaned back into the man's frame._

_I felt_ _his grip tighten, and I smiled to myself as I slowly began to turn around in his arm. About a third of the way around, I noticed him staring at me from several feet back, and quickly turned my attention to the short brunette that I was pressed up against._

"Santana..." _I whispered._

_She simply smiled and wrapped her other arm around my waist, linking her own fingers together. Taken aback, but surprisingly happy at the girl who had embraced me, I gazed back into her brown eyes and smiled, completely forgetting the 'stud' that was still staring, very confused, at the two of us. It seemed like the world began to move in slow motion, as I slid my free hand up and placed in on the crook between her shoulder and neck, feeling her shiver at my touch._

"And lover tonight, don't leave

Just one more kiss upon my cheek

We've got miles and times

Between this heart of yours and mine

Lover tonight, don't go..."

_The sounds of the singer washed over our bodies as I pulled her in closely by the neck, our breaths warm and swirling around the others; our hearts racing. I could feel her entire body tense up as I placed the cold drink in my hand on her bare upper back to pull her even closer. Our faces were so close at this point, neither of us daring to shift our eyes from each other. A slight smile crossed her lips as mine inched even closer. She closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly, pulling so close that I felt her lips slightly engulf by lower lip..._

I woke in a cold sweat with my heart beating so fast I thought it would leap out of my chest.

_Damnit..._

For the third night in a row, I had the same dream of Santana and I at BreadStix, and the fact that she wasn't talking, or even looking at me for that matter, at school, just made the pain of reality that much worse.

"I have _got_ to do something about this..." I muttered to no one in particular.

Slowly, I got up and started to get ready for school. I hopped into the shower, got dressed and fixed my hair and make-up without being able to shake the image of her lips so close to mine. In the past few days, I had gone between thinking of Santana as the best friend I couldn't live without, to the best friend that I couldn't stop dreaming about kissing. My brain couldn't really comprehend what it all meant, but, thanks to my heart, I knew that I couldn't go another day without doing something about it.

I climbed into Quinn's car and rode in silence to school as she rambled about her campaign for Junior Prom Queen. Quinn was my friend, and I knew how much being Prom Queen meant to her, but I couldn't think of anything other than my day's goal: get Santana to sit down and talk to me. It seemed like such a simple task, but the girl had even been going as far as to skip the classes they shared together to avoid talking to her. It wasn't that Santana was skipping classes-that was nothing new-but, she usually skipped the ones we _didn't_have together; not the other way around.

"Brittany? Brittany, are you listening to anything I'm saying?" Quinn brought me back to the conversation in the car.

_Nope. Completely zoned out, Quinn._

"Uhh, sorry, Q, I was thinking about the choreography for Regionals. Mr. Shue has been on me about finishing it." I lied.

"Ugh. I asked you if you had heard of people talking about voting for Zizes for Prom Queen?"

"Oh, no, not really. People think you're pretty, Quinn. And you're nice. Lauren is really mean to people."

"That's what I thought," she smiled smugly to herself as she pulled into her parking spot.

I got out of the car and happily walked in the opposite direction of Quinn, as our first classes were on opposite sides of the school. I went to my locker so I could check my schedule.

_How do I still not remember which classes to go to? Oh, right. Normally, I just follow Santana._

Santana. I had to find her before classes started. I walked by Coach Sylvester's office, and down to our first period Spanish class. I still couldn't find her. I turned a corner towards the choir room, and I knew I was headed in the right direction. A very soft, subtle, but beautiful voice gently flowed out of the room and into the hallway.

_Santana's practicing for Regionals_.

I walked in, but she was sitting on the piano bench, with her back to the door and headphones shoved into her ears. I stood there for just a moment, letting the warmth of her voice wash over me. I walked up behind her and waited for a break in the song.

_This is my chance_.

I took a huge breath before tapping her on the shoulder as I sat next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from bolting too quickly. She turned her head to face me, and I saw all color drain from her face when she realized who it was.

"San..." was all I was able to get out before she interrupted me.

"I thought I told you not to call me _San_ anymore!"

She was yelling, though unintentional, because her headphones were still in her ears. She glared at me as I jumped slightly at the tone in her voice. I reached up to pull out one of her headphones, but she pulled back, unable to determine what I was about to do. With my right hand, I held up one finger, signaling that it was okay, and slowly reached up with my left to pull out one of her earbuds.

"Oh... sorry..." she said sheepishly when she realized what I was doing. Her face quickly turned serious again and she looked at me with a hard look.

"What do you want, Brittany?"

"I want you to talk to me, Santana. Or, more specifically," I paused, "I want you to listen to me. That's all I'm asking. Please, just give me ten minutes to talk. After that, you can get up and storm away if you don't like what I have to say."

She stared at me for a moment, contemplating my offer. She still was looking at me with complete sadness and bitterness on her face. I could feel the hurt radiating from her body onto mine, and I began to tear up again. Though no tears had fallen from my eyes, she sensed how sincere I was being. She looked down as she pulled out her other earbud and turned her iPod off. Her body slowly turned, and she flung one leg over the bench, so she was facing me full on.

"Okay, you can talk. But I'm only giving you eight minutes, cause you've already wasted a few."

She smiled a half smile, and I realized she was trying to make me laugh.

_Thank goodness_.


	7. Chapter 7: Runaway

I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. I froze at all the emotions I saw there: hurt, confusion, fear and hope.

_Hope_. _How good it felt to see some hope in her eyes._

I reached forward to take her hand in mine, but she quickly pulled away. It was then that I saw something else in her eyes-she was guarded. She was hopeful for the best, but still expecting the worst.

"Thank you for not running away."

She just stared at me. No change in her expression. Her silence told me I should continue. I couldn't look at her while I spoke for fear I would see her expressions change, yet again. I folded my hands in my lap and watched my fingers mindlessly fiddle with one another as I began to speak the words I had shifted around in my head a million times in the past 72 hours.

"For the past three days, I haven't been able to think about anyone but you. I haven't been able to sleep without dreaming of you. I haven't been able to breathe without feeling your breath on my neck."

I heard her let out the smallest, softest gasp, but I didn't shift my gaze from my hands as I continued.

"Whenever anyone else speaks to me, I imagine it's your voice I'm hearing. Except, when I'm in silence, the only things I can hear you say are the screaming demands for me to not hug you or touch you or, essentially, show that I even know you're around. And every time those words replay in my head," I paused, unsure if I should say the next words, but spoke anyways "every time those words replay in my head... my heart breaks all over again."

I looked up at Santana, unsure of what I was going to see or what I wanted to see. She wasn't looking at me. Her chin was resting on her chest, and I saw a single tear run down onto her thigh, just like I had seen it fall on her kitchen counter only a few mornings ago. Remembering what had happened when I tried to comfort her then, I just sat there, unsure if I should keep talking or not. After about ten seconds, Santana held up three fingers, and I knew she was letting me know I still had three minutes left to speak.

Much softer than before, and with a little less uncertainty, I leaned in closer to make sure she could hear everything I was saying.

"San..." I paused, remembering that she didn't want me to call her that. She didn't budge, so I just skimmed over it and kept on talking. "I am so sorry for the pain that I've caused you. I don't know exactly what I've done or what I can do differently, but I promise you that I am willing to do whatever it takes for you to be able to be around me again. I haven't felt whole without you. And I don't know what all these feelings mean quite yet, but the one thing I do know, is that I can't go another day without seeing you, without smelling you, talking to you... touching you..." my voice faded, almost surprised at the last words to escape my lips. I gasped for air as I realized I was crying as I plead for Santana's attention again.

Through tears I sputtered. "My time is up. Please think about what I've said," and I stood up and began to walk away when I felt her hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back. I turned around and looked down at where she still sat on the piano bench. She was looking up at me, staring into my eyes, as if she was searching for something. The fear and sadness on her face had vanished, and through the glossiness of her tears, I could see hope there again. I took the step back to the piano and sat down, her hand still gently wrapped around my wrist. I was still looking into her eyes, and became suddenly more aware of the tears rolling down my own face when her free hand reached up to wipe them away. I felt goose bumps rise all over my arms and down my spine at the comforting feeling of her hand on my cheek. She noticed the chill and started running her hands up and down the sides of my arms to warm me up and soothe me.

"Whoah, ladies! Am I interrupting something?" Puck chirped, with an egotistical grin as he strolled into the choir room.

"Damnit," Santana muttered under her breath. "No, ass. We were just talking."

"It looked like a little bit more than that to me, but whatever you say!" he said with a wink.

He walked off and I turned back towards Santana. Our eyes locked again and, as if choreographed, we both let out a small smile.

"Sorry, he can be such a _dude_ sometimes," Santana said to me.

"It's ok." I looked away and felt her hand back on my arm, turning me to look back at her.

"You ok?"

I paused and glanced back at her. "Yeah, I... I just don't really know what to do now."

I stared at her, wanting her to respond to everything I had just said. She opened her mouth to speak when the bell rang, signaling we had a minute to get to our first period classes.

"Uh... I guess I better get to class. Coach will kill me if I get one more detention for being late." I got up and was almost in the doorway to the hall when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw it was from Santana, who was still sitting across the choir room at the piano.

*U wanna skip? ;-)*

I turned around to see her watching me, smiling. I'd never seen this smile on her before. It was eager, but still hesitant. My heart leapt when I saw how happy she looked.

_How could I say no to that face?_

I just smiled back at her with a quick nod, and she jumped up from the piano and hurried towards me. She grabbed my wrist, just like she had before, and peeked her head out of the room and into the hallway. After a few random teachers went into their respective classrooms, Santana looked at me with a huge grin.

"Let's go!" She said it both quietly and excitedly. Never letting go of my hand, she pulled me out into the empty hall way, around the corner, and out a side door into one of the student parking lots. We went through a few rows until we reached Santana's SUV, and quickly hopped in. We sat for a minute, both a little out of breath from rushing and trying to stay quiet at the same time.

We looked over at each other, and Santana just busted out laughing. It made me laugh, too, and for a moment, it was as if we had both forgotten about the world in front of us. Eventually, we both settled down, and as Santana pulled out of the parking lot, I realized that I had no idea where we were going.

"The lake..." I said, softly. We had been driving for about half an hour, and Santana still hadn't told me where we were going.

"Is that okay?" She looked at me nervously.

"No, no, Santana. That's totally fine. Kinda perfect, actually." Santana's aunt has a lake house less than an hour from Lima, and we'd spent every summer night there since we met. When we weren't at cheerleading camp, of course. I had never told her, but it is one of my favorite places on earth. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, and I couldn't help but smile. She turned her eyes back to the road, but I could see she was hiding a smile of her own.

"Music?" she finally asked.

"Yeah, sounds good."

She reached over and turned her satellite radio onto some upbeat punk song that didn't seem to fit the mood. "Nuh uh," I said, practically to myself. I reached over and pressed the button., As the channel changed, we both froze.

"And next, a new one from Tennessee rocker, Will Hoge_, _this one's called _'Lover Tonight.'"_

Santana almost ran off the road she tried to change the channel so quickly, but I stopped her. She looked at me with a mixture of fear and apprehension. "No, I want to hear it." She pulled her hand back to the wheel and we both faced the road ahead.

"It's okay, baby. I liked the song." I saw her smile, with a slight pang of guilt, as I called her _baby_. We rode the rest of the way in silence, and arrived at the lake before the song was over. Neither of us dared to move, as the last verse and chorus continued to roll over our ears.

_"And how do we get back to where we started love?_

_And what do we do when everything is not enough_

_Oh and all of your cards are played_

_Maybe we should just walk away_

_ But lover tonight, don't leave_

_Just one more kiss upon my cheek_

_Cause it's just miles and time_

_Between this heart of yours and mine_

_And lover tonight, don't go"_

__The song ended, and we both remained silent for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"What now?" I said as we avoided each other's glances.

"Wanna take a walk down to the pier?"

I smiled. "Yeah, definitely." I nodded, and though she didn't say anything, I could _feel _her exhale.

We got out of the car and headed towards the water line, turned left, and started walking around the side of the lake, each without saying a word. The walk to the pier was shorter if we had stayed on the road, yet we both instinctively knew the other would want to walk along the water. It was a walk we knew well, and had taken on endless summer mornings to watch the early fishermen and sailboats go out. It was something so comfortable and natural, and those mornings on the pier are probably a big reason why Santana and I had become such good friends. We spent hours upon hours looking out over the water, talking about any and every thing. And we had spent hours not talking at all, just sitting in each other's company in silence, absorbing our surroundings. Thinking of going there with Santana now, with all they needed to talk about, felt so appropriate. We walked along in silence for most of the way, but after what felt like an eternity, Santana spoke.

"I'm sorry I made you feel all of that. I sorry I yelled at you, Britt. You didn't deserve that. I'm the one that fucked up our friendship by trying to turn it into something more, and then you did nothing but try to show me that you care about me... and... I just completely shut you out. You didn't deserve that."

"It's ok, Santana. You were hurting, and feeling a lot of scary emotions, and you reacted, and I'm okay with that. I'm just not okay with us not being okay."

"I know."

It was if we felt again that there was nothing else to talk about. We had both apologized. We knew that our friendship would survive. Both of our arms were hanging loosely at our sides, the backs of our hands kept brushing against each other. I didn't want it to stop, and I could tell she didn't either, as I saw her steal away a smile at the extended contact of one of the encounters.

But I didn't feel satisfied. I decided to try and ask her some of the questions I had been mulling over.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Why haven't you said anything to me about having feelings before now?"

"I knew that's what you were going to ask. And the answer is simple: I was afraid that something like what happened the other night, would happen. Only..." She stopped talking and looked away.

"Only what?"

"Only, it was worse than I had imagined. I can't even try to describe the feeling in my stomach, and in my heart, that has been eating at me these past few days. It felt like I couldn't breathe... like I had no reason to."

A chill ran up my spine. I stepped forward, over, and into her path and turned around. I knew I had caught her off guard by the look on her face. We were standing inches from each other, simply staring. I felt my heart began that incessant racing, and I took each of her hands in mine, pulling her a little closer.

_She's holding her breath. She's so nervous._

I smiled, trying to ease her fears.

"Santana... I felt the _exact_ same way."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: To hear the song, go to youtube and search "will hoge lover tonight." The first search result is the best, IMO.**


	8. Chapter 8: The Pier

We stood there for a moment, neither of us daring to move; both savoring the feeling of being so completely engrossed in the other. I felt her hands tighten around mine and she pulled me closer to her, sliding her arms around my back and burying her face into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her in the same fashion, and rested my chin on the top of her head. I could feel her sobbing into my chest, and I moved a hand up and placed it on the back of her head.

"Santana, please don't cry. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. We're going to figure this out, I promise. I promise."

She looked up at me, and I was surprised by what I saw. I didn't see sadness and I didn't see pain. Through her falling tears, she had a smile on her face, and she let out a muffled giggle.

"I know, Britt. I'm just so grateful for that. I don't know what this is about," she laughed at herself and pointed to the wet streaks running down her face. I couldn't help but laugh a little too, and reached up and wiped the tear streak off her cheeks with the back of my hand.

We turned and started walking again, but more slowly and lazily than before. Without realizing it, we had held onto each other's hand, and I began to feel Santana running her thumb along the lines of my hand as we strolled. We weren't talking—we didn't need to. After a while we arrived at the pier, and walked about two-thirds of the way down, to the same spot we always sat. The rails on the sides were about two feet from the sides of the actual pier, so we took off our shoes, slipped through the rails, and sat on the edge, feet dangling. The lowest crossbar on the pier railing was the perfect height to lean back on your neck. We took our usual position, and sat in silence for a while before Santana cautiously reached over to take my hand together. I caught her gaze and smiled, letting her know it was okay.

We sat like that, staring out at the jet skis, boats, and fishermen, just taking in our surroundings. After a while, I began laughing to myself. Santana turned her head and looked at me, very confused.

"What's so funny, crazy?"

"I just realized that we're going to be SO BUSTED if Coach Sylvester catches us skipping school."

"And that's funny because…"

"Well… her getting angry won't be funny. But what's funny is picturing the look on her face when I tell her I don't care if she gives me an extra 10,000 laps like last time; this is totally worth it."

Santana's eyes lit up and she genuinely smiled for the first time since our fight. I shifted my position on the pier, pulled her arm over my shoulder and leaned my head on her shoulder. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself, taking in everything about the moment. It felt so perfect: smelling the subtle floral scent of her shampoo, feeling her arm wrapped around me, and her heart beating so fast. I reached across her lap and took her other hand in mine, tracing all over the palm before I slid my fingers between hers. I never wanted to move.

After a while, Santana spoke again.

"Can I ask you some more questions, Brittany?"

"Of course, San."

"Well, it's about everything you said this morning. I know a lot of what you were saying was just to get me to talk to you again, but I can't help but replay some of those words you said over and over again."

"Like what?"

"Things like, imagining me breathing on your neck, and wanting to smell me and touch me…" she paused, "… and…you said that your heart broke when I erupted the other morning…and, I just don't really know how to take all that. I don't know what that means."

I could tell she was trembling. It took a lot for her to ask me that, and I realized that. To comfort her, I squeezed her hand a little tighter and looked up at her, while not moving far enough away to allow her arm to move from its place around my shoulders.

"Santana, when you told me that you had feelings for me, I could see the fear and pain in your eyes as you told me. I didn't really take the time to let anything process, but I let my intuition take control. My instinct was to be with you, to hold you, to comfort you. It's what I felt like you needed, and what felt right to me. I didn't take the time to let everything sink in and process it until I got home the next day."

"You're still not really answering my question," she looked slightly irritated.

"I know, I know. I'm getting there," I took a deep breath, "What I said to you this morning had no agenda behind it other than to tell the truth. I didn't let my inhibitions get the best of me, and I wasn't just trying to get you to be my friend again. I just told you exactly how I've been feeling, without thinking about what it means, or what comes next. So, yes, I got chills whenever I thought of you being so close that I could feel your breath. When I closed my eyes, I imagined your arm around me like it was at BreadStix. And yes… it felt like a thousand knives had been shoved into my heart to see you hurt the way you were the other morning."

I shifted my position again, taking her other hand in mine, and looking into her eyes, much the same way I had on the beach earlier. She was still so nervous, and she had an incredibly innocent look on her face as she anticipated the next thing I was going to say.

"Santana, I can't tell you how to take all of that, because I haven't really sorted out all these feelings for myself. I don't know what they mean. This is all so new to me. But the _one thing_ that I'm certain about is that I can't not be around you. I can't _not_ have you in my life. I'll suck it up and take it if you say that you need your space, but I won't go quietly. This," I said as I held up our clenched hands, "…this just feels too right to me."

She immediately pulled me into a tight embrace, and I felt the blood surge through my body as my heart rate sped up again. I felt hers beating quickly too, but soon noticed that it felt like our hearts were beating together. Interrupting the moment, we suddenly were drenched by a huge wave from the wake of a large boat going much faster than it should. We both instinctively jumped up, but realizing we were on the outside of the rail, both clutched to it and each other to keep from falling in. We were both clinging to the same post of the pier railing, arms clinging to it and each other indiscriminately.

"Well, fuck you too, lake!" Santana yelled out over our laughter.

I looked at her and smiled. We were both clinging to the same post of the pier railing, arms clinging to it and each other indiscriminately. "Don't yell at the lake, baby, it didn't mean to!"

She got a mischievous look on her face and pulled me in for a hug without letting go of the railing, whispering into my ear.

"God, I love it when you call me baby," the husky words reverberated in my ear.

I felt the chill rise in me. Her voice sounded so sexy. I closed my eyes and hugged her back. As I pulled away, her hand slid down from my shoulder blade to the small of my back as she leaned back and smiled at me.

"Wanna go get lunch?"

_Hell yes I wanted to get lunch with you._

"Well… I guess…" I said with a wink.

"Oh, well don't get too excited there, Brittany! Race ya!"

And we were off, half tripping as we slid under the railing, up the boat ramp, and back to the main road that lead directly to her car. At some point, miraculously, I passed her and slammed into her car still at full speed. I turned around and threw my arms up in victory, dancing a little dance and shouting, "Hahah! I beat you! I beat you!"

"Yeah, well," she said with a shy smile, "I still had a pretty good view the rest of the way back," and she climbed into the driver's side of the car.

I blushed and put my head down.

_I can't believe she just said that!_

I took a deep breath before getting into the car, she was laughing as I climbed in.

"Britt, before we leave, I just have to tell you how happy you've made me today. And I know you're still working things out in your life, and I am, too. And it's really important. But, I want to be here for you, and I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything. Even if it's something you think I might not want to hear."

I nodded and smiled. "You pick lunch."

"Okay. I don't feel like BreadStix today, though. My mom ordered from there last night. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, silly, I said you pick!" She smiled again and put the car in reverse, pulling back from the lake and onto the highway.

We drove for a little bit, just talking about regular stuff in Cheerios and the glee club, and before I knew it, we were turning towards my favorite Mexican restaurant. It wasn't a big chain like all the others, and had very few tables inside, but the chips and salsa were the best things I had ever tasted, and it was really inexpensive.

"Yo Burrito! Yaaaaayyyy!

"Oh you are soooo easy to entertain, aren't you?" Santana laughed at me.

"Yup! That, _and_ I'm a cheap date!"

I paused, realizing what I had just said. Santana did the same and the air in the car quickly because filled with uncertainty. We both stole sideways glances, until finally I blurted out, "Well, maybe."

Santana didn't react outwardly, but I could tell she wanted to smile at my Freudian slip. Seemingly completely naturally, she reached over and placed her right hand on my left thigh, and my breath caught. Immediately, she realized what she had done and pulled her hand away. I could tell she was mentally hitting herself over the head as she quietly mumbled, "S… sorry, damnit."

"Hey…" I said softly as I reached for that same hand. "It's ok. I…" I pulled her hand towards me and brought it back down to my lap, placing it where my skin was still burning from her touch. "I… kind of liked it."

Her car stopped at the last red light and our eyes locked for what was probably the thousandth time that day. Yet, something was different. This look felt different. I felt something _new_.


	9. Chapter 9: Teasing

**A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but I'll have Chapter 10 up in a few hours. Thank you for all the nice comments and reviews; if you're enjoying this story, please recommend it on your tumblrs, twitters, etc! Thanks.**

We arrived at Yo Burrito and ate our lunch together feeling renewed and happy. We gossiped and laughed through the entire meal. It felt like nothing and happened and everything had changed all at the same time. I stole sideways glances of her flowing, curly hair and sparkling brown eyes every chance I got. I could feel my own heart smile at the sound of her laugh. Every time our hands grazed reaching in for the chips, I felt a tingle down my spine.

_God, I love that feeling._

We took our time eating, and by the time we were ready to leave, school was almost out. We decided to go wait in the parking lot, hoping we could trick Coach Sylvester into thinking we had been there the whole time. But, once we got there, we got lost in conversation again, and completely missed seeing her storm over to her car and reach in the window to grab me.

"Where the _hell_ have you two been? And don't give me some sob story about your hideous balloons for breasts exploded and are leaking poison into your bloodstream. I have had blood flowing in mine for _years._ Nationals is only a few months away and I can't have my head cheerleader and her shockingly dull sidekick traipsing around Lima contracting who knows what kinds of venereal diseases. Both of you, out! OUT NOW."

"Coach, it's not Brittany's fault, it's mine. I dragged her off campus. I needed her help… ummm… scouting out the squad from Dalton Academy. They're all guys, so we weren't sure what kind of routine they'd have."

_Santana was quick._

You could still practically see the steam coming from Coach's ears, yet simultaneously you could see the intrigue in her eyes. She stewed for a minute with her face contorting into various stages of rage when she finally said, "Go get changed. After Cheerios practice, you'll report to my office, share what you've learned, and then I'll determine how severe your punishment will be, ranging from extra laps and fewer meals, to feeding me grapes laced with LSD and protein powder for the rest of your life."

I couldn't help but laugh on the inside as she turned around in huff, knocking over a couple of AV nerds rolling a cart of video equipment who were in her path.

"Santana, that was great for now, but what are we going to tell her later?"

"Babe, you seem to be forgetting one baby-faced, soprano gay who's dating _Mr._ Dalton Academy. One quick phone call and we'll have all the intel we need," she said with a wink.

She turned and started strutting into the school, and I giggled as I ran up behind her, linking arms as we headed to the locker room to get ready for Cheerios practice. We were the first ones in there, because the bell had just rung, and the other girls hadn't had a chance to go to their lockers yet. We went to our respective lockers and started to get ready, and I noticed Santana hadn't stopped smiling.

"I like seeing you this happy, San."

She blushed and walked over and wrapped me in her arms. "Thank you for making me this happy," she whispered in my ear. The sudden rush of her breath on my neck sent a shock wave through my entire body, and my breath caught in the back of my throat. She pulled back a little and looked at me with the most sincere eyes I have ever seen, still smiling.

She turned and started stretching, since we were both basically ready and the other girls hadn't made it in here yet. I sat on the bench and started tying my shoes, humming to myself softly when Santana spoke again.

"So, Brittany… I was thinking…umm… could we maybe…" she paused and I looked up from my shoe to see her fidgeting with both of her hands.

_She's totally nervous. And it's totally cute._

"What is it, Santana?"

"Would, would you want to go to BreadStix again with me on Friday for open mic night? Kind of… to do you better than last time?"

_She is still so nervous; I have to make her laugh._

"Whoa there, San. I don't think I'm quite ready for you to _do me_ yet," I said with a sly smirk.

She faltered for only a second, and then took two steps towards me on the bench, leaning over and placing a hand on each thigh. She brought her lips so close to my ear that they brushed my earlobe. She was on top of me, and I was frozen with fear and excitement and a rush of adrenaline all rolled into one. After what felt like an eternity that I never wanted to end, she finally whispered, in the most seductive voice I have ever heard her use.

"Glad to hear you ended that sentence with a _yet_."

As she pulled away she looked so deep into my eyes I thought I would fall into the brown puddles. She let her lips graze the skin right below my ear and I unconsciously closed my eyes, letting the feeling wash over me. I must have completely sunk into my own head, because when I opened my eyes again, Santana was four feet away from me again, casually stretching and chatting with the other Cheerios that were walking into the locker room. I felt flush and excited and confused all at the same time.

Cheerios practice went by like a blur, and before I knew it, Santana was hurrying me out of Coach Sylvester's office. I'm not really sure how she had gotten so much information from Blaine over a three minute phone call, but she had succeeded in heading her off and making her entirely forget about us skipping.

"How did you convince Blaine to tell you all that, Santana?"

"It really wasn't that hard. I told him that Coach Sylvester would basically destroyed our will to live, meaning we wouldn't be able to perform during Regionals, so the New Directions' dancing would be appalling, we'd lose, and Kurt would be devastated." She smiled, "It's all about hitting him where it hurts… so to speak."

We chuckled together and walked out to the parking lot, and settled into her car. On the way to my house, I could tell that she was nervous and shaky. I reached over and took her hand, placing them in my lap. She glanced over a little surprised.

"You can drive with one hand, right?" I asked cheerily.

"Totally." She flashed a huge smile once again.

"So, about that date to BreadStix?" She looked at me and winked, and I could feel my cheeks flushing red.

"Oh, I'm _so there_," I said with a smirk on my face.

She pulled into my driveway and offered to pick me up for school in the morning. I happily accepted and hugged her tight before heading inside. I couldn't help but think of the previous Friday when I had ritualistically turned around in the doorway and she had already been gone.

_Is she going to leave this time too?_

I decided that we had a good day, and secretly prayed that she knew how much I clung to those last few fleeting seconds of the vision of her, and stopped and turned. She was still there, looking me up and down with a goofy grin on her face. She lifted both eyebrows twice in a row, and I got the hint.

_I should have known she would stay and check me out_.

But I didn't mind. I smiled one last time for the evening and entered the air conditioned house obviously pleased with myself and my day. My dad was just coming down the stairs.

"Dinner's at seven sweetheart; hope you're hungry!"

"Sure Dad, sounds great!"

I walked past him and up to my room, scaring Lord Tubbington off the big pillow, plopping down on my back on the bed and releasing a sigh that I must have held all day. It felt so good to have things right with Santana.

_So good._


	10. Chapter 10: The First Date

_This week has gone by in a total blur. I can't believe it's already Friday._

I was ready for school earlier than usual, and decided to write in my journal again.

_Dear Me,_

_I actually haven't been able to see Santana much this week. When the teachers found out we skipped, they were so, so mad. Since I haven't been in trouble much before, I mainly just got verbally assaulted in every class. But Santana wasn't so lucky. She had what could only be described as "lengthy" record of delinquent behavior at McKinley High and was sent to three days of in school suspension. This meant that I haven't gotten to see her at all during the school day. Plus, my parents have decided to become more like the Brady Bunch with each passing day, and have had instituted a "no friends, family bonding" type week where we've watched a movie or played a game after dinner. It's been nice to hang out with my little sister more, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about Santana. The only times I've had with her are the car rides to and from school, which are painfully short. Though, it's been a good… no __great__, way to start my day. There haven't really been any close calls like in the locker room when she practically climbed on top of me. But, there have been plenty of times where I have caught her staring at me, and we've held hand for almost all of every car ride. Her hand feels nice in mine. It's so much softer than boys' hands, and it fits in mine so well. I really like it. _

_I never pictured myself having feelings for a girl. It's not like I have a problem with it. I've been good friends with Kurt for a while now, and I think he and Blaine are so perfect for each other. And Santana had kind of told me she was attracted to girls before. But I guess I never allowed myself to consider that the intense friendship the two of us have could be something more. Ever since our day on the pier though, I've become more and more comfortable with the idea of it._

_I can't wait for tonight. I can't wait for our date._

"Brittany! Dinner tonight at 6:30, mom suggested that you all invite a friend over. So you want to call Santana and have her over before you two go to BreadStix?"

I smiled to myself and called back to him, "Yeah, Dad! Sounds great!"

_Okay, Me, you've got to get ready for tonight._

_Hugs and Unicorns,_

_~Me_

I grabbed my phone and flipped it open, typing her a quick text message.

*Hey QT. Dinner w the Pierces? Here 630.*

Almost immediately, she replied. *Sounds Gr8. More time w u. ;-)*

I looked at the clock, 4:15. I decided to take a quick beauty nap before getting ready.

The doorbell rang, and I glanced back at the clock: 6:12.

_Damnit, Santana. You're early and I'm NOT ready yet!_

I heard my mom let her in and ran to the door to listen in on their conversation while I struggled into the tight jean skirt I'd be wearing for the night.

"Hey Mrs. P, thanks for inviting me to dinner. I always love your cooking!"

"No problem, Santana. I know you don't get much of this at home."

"Much? I don't think my mom even knows where the kitchen is in our house!"

They both laughed and I heard my mom tell her I was in my room. I was glad my mom liked Santana. Her parents aren't around much, so I think, in some ways, she thinks of my parents as surrogates.

I heard the a soft set of footsteps heading up the stairs and closer to my room. I panicked, and did the first thing I could think of. I locked the door.

_She does NOT get to see me before I'm ready._

She jiggled the door handle. "Oh, c'mon Britt, let me in!"

"Nope, I don't think so! You're early. I'm not ready! Go back downstairs and watch TV with my dad or something until I'm ready. I'll be down in a minute."

She fake huffed behind the door, "Fine, but hurry up!"

I could feel her smiling through the door, liking that I cared about how I look for her. She sighed loudly again and I heard her go back downstairs. I went back to the mirror and looked at my outfit. I laughed a little bit, having deja vu from the week before. I had a tight jean skirt on with a hot pink spaghetti strap top. Wavy hair and fairly natural make up. Now for the shoes.

_How do I have over forty pairs of shoes and none that seem to go with this outfit?_

After careful consideration, I picked a pair of black sparkly flats. I didn't want to be too tall, since I already have a few inches on Santana.

"Brittany! Dinner is ready, get your butt down here!" my dad yelled.

I mumbled to myself, "Well, here goes nothing." As I walked down the stairs, I realized that I had a pit in my stomach that was churning uncontrollably. I was a wreck. I was about to have dinner with Santana with my family. No biggie. She's eaten over here dozens of times before.

I hit the bottom step and see the back of Santana's head. I walk behind her and rest a hand on her shoulder, squeezing as I bent down and whispered in her ear, "Hey there, baby. You look stunning." Even though she was still sitting, I could see her smile and saw her face flush in embarrassment. I could tell what clothes she was wearing. Clothes I knew well: white cargo pants that were tight on her ass and loose everywhere else and a silver and black scoop neck halter. Her hair was down and curly and kind of wild, and she had dark eye shadow that highlighted her eyes perfectly. Her smell was intoxicating. She looked over her shoulder at me and her smile widened, standing up and walking over to the table with me. She had been blushing at my comment, and walked around and gave me a hug. It was hard not to notice the speed of both of our heartbeats, and as we walked to the kitchen table, I could feel her eyes looking me up and down from behind. She sat on my right with my dad on my left at dinner. We all took hands for the prayer, but I didn't hear a word my mother said. All I knew at that moment was the feeling of Santana's thumb lightly caressing my hand as she held it.

"Amen," everyone said in unison, jolting me back to reality. Reluctantly, we let go of each other's hands, and both looked at each other, letting the other know that neither of us wanted to let go. Everyone began serving themselves and the first half of the meal's conversation is relatively uneventful. After a short silence, my mom turned to Santana.

"So Santana, are you seeing anyone right now?"

Leave it to my mom to ask the awkward personal question. I eagerly glanced over to Santana to see how she would handle the situation. She uneasily shifted in her chair and started stuttering.

"Uh, me? Oh, um... I don't... No, I'm not." She kind of chuckled at the end of that sentence, but then she paused. I could tell she wanted to say something more. She took a deep breath and turned her head towards my mom. "No, Mrs. Pierce, I'm not with anyone right now. But there is someone, a fantastic and beautiful someone, who I can't wait to take out."

She smiled and looked down, and I could feel her hand on my knee as she finished that sentence. The fact that my family eats with their left hand under the table to be "proper," plus the table cloth, hid her hand. I liked it there, and Santana didn't move it for the rest of the meal. Every now and then I reached over with my left and ran my fingers briefly over hers. I caught her grinning in reaction one time, but my dad had just cracked a joke, so no one noticed.

Dinner ended, and I tried to help my mom clean up the dishes, but she insisted that I go ahead with Santana to BreadStix.

"If you're coming back here tonight, be back by midnight. But just let us know if you're going to stay over anywhere else."

I nodded and Santana and I walked out the front door towards her SUV. She walked with me to the passenger side and opened my door. I gave her a sideways glance with a goofy smile. "San, I can open my own car door!"

"I know, but I can open it for you, too." She winked at me and closed the door. When she got in the car I instantly took her hand in mine and interlocked our fingers.

"I've been wanting to do that since we first sat at the table."

She smiled a full smile at me and leaned over, brushing her lips on my chin giving me a lingering kiss on the cheek. When she pulled away she looked me in the eyes and softly said, "And I've been wanting to do that since you called me 'baby' again tonight. That pretty much makes me crazy."

She leaned back into her seat and started her car, and we drove to BreadStix listening to the radio and doing our best to sing along. When we got there, we walked over to the same table from the previous week. Rachel came over, and after losing a battle of wits with Santana, she went to get our drinks. Santana moved her chair closer to mine and put her arm over the back of my chair. I was suddenly aware of the fact that there are a lot of eyes on us.

"Santana, people are staring."

She looked at me, confused. "Of course they're staring. The two hottest girls here are here together. They're jealous," she said with a smirk.

"We're not together, Santana."

I realized as soon as it came out of my mouth that it sounded crueler than I intended. She retracted her arm from my shoulder and crossed it with the other one across her chest. "Sorry," she mumbled. Rachel walked up with our drinks, and before she even had the chance to walk to the next table, I told her to bring us our next round.

I looked over, and could see hurt in her eyes. "San, I didn't mean..."

"No, Brittany, look it's okay. You're right; we're not together. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. This is something new for us both. I was just doing what came naturally to _me_ without thinking about whether it was something _you _would want. I don't want to rush you into anything you aren't ready for. I want everything to be perfect, because you're perfect. So you just have to promise me that if I do something, or say something that you can't handle that you'll just tell me so we can get this right."

I was completely floored by her honesty, and wasn't sure how to respond at first. But then I just laughed. When I looked up, she was just staring at me with her jaw dropped in confusion.

"Everything is fine, Santana. You'll know how I feel about things as we're together. I don't care about anyone else, really. It just surprised me that everyone was staring. I'm not used to that, either. But, I'm here _with you_ because I want to be," and I took her hand in mine and placed our hands on my lap before pulling her to her feet.

"Now," I breathed into her ear, "come dance with me, _baby_."


	11. Chapter 11: Getting Used to It

I pulled her onto the dance floor with a smile as the DJ started playing the latest Lady Gaga single. I spun her around with a flourish and she started laughing.

_She has such an adorable laugh_.

I pulled her back into me and linked our other hands. We rocked in rhythm and smiled at each other. The dance floor was crowded and everyone was bumping into everyone else. Santana took a turn spinning me, but she only let me get around halfway before putting her right hand on my hip and pulling my back into her front. Finally, after a week of repeated daydreams of our encounter at BreadStix last week, her hand had found its way back again. I could feel her breasts pushing into my back and she held me impossibly close, swaying to the music, grinding on my back. She rested her chin on my shoulder, and I placed on hand on top of hers on my hip and wrapped the other one around the back of her neck, turning around and saying into her ear, "You're a good dancer."

"I've got a good partner," she whispered back. I let her hand run over the top of my skirt, caressing the strip of skin that was exposed from my shirt riding up. My entire body was engulfed in a chill and I gasped when I felt her slide her thumb underneath the bottom edge of my shirt and pull me even closer into her. I became even more aware of the fact that the front of her hips we pressed up against me. I could feel her breathing onto my ear and neck and she buried her lips into the skin of my shoulder.

_Is she kissing me?_

I noticed after a few more moments that we were both sweating. Our bodies were writhing together and beginning to slip over one another. I felt her hand move higher up on my abs and under my shirt. My heart began to swell and I felt her begin to shake slightly through a chill.

"Santana..." She didn't look up at me. "Santana..." I whispered again. I turned around in her grasp and lifted her face to mine with one finger. I left my hand on her cheek and brushed her hair out of her eyes. She looked at me with an expression I couldn't place. "Santana, what is it?"

"It's okay, I'm fine Britt," she forced a smile. A slow song came over the speakers, and I pulled her in close with both hands over her shoulders. She put her other arm around my waist and accepted my silent offer to dance. She rested her head on my shoulder again and I smiled.

"I love holding you," I spoke into her ear.

She looked up at me and her expression was still covered with indescribable uncertainty. "Why don't we go get our next drink from the table?" she suggested.

"Uh... okay, I guess."

_Why is she acting this way? I just want to dance with her._

We got back to the table, and our drinks were waiting on us, we sat down and each took a long gulp without speaking, then I finally turned to face her and pulled her chair to face mine, my legs on either side of hers.

"Santana," I almost lost my breath at her beauty, "San... what's wrong? Why are you shutting down? Are you not having fun?"

"NO! No, Brittany, it's not like that at all!" She grabbed my hands, "Of course I'm enjoying being here with you. I just have to calm myself down."

"What do you mean 'calm yourself down'?"

She blushed and looked away.

_Was she embarrassed?_

She leaned in, and, as I was enjoying becoming accustomed to, huskily whispered into my ear.

"I had to make myself realize that I can't make out with you on that dance floor in front of all of McKinley High."

I didn't know what to say to that. She was still close enough for me to feel her breath, and I wrapped a hand onto the back of her head, digging and twirling with her curly dark brown locks, not letting her move away. She was holding her breath, as was I.

I felt a rush of bravery and slightly opened my lips to speak into her ear.

"Well, with moves like that, it won't be long til I'll be the one holding back," I paused and smiled slightly to myself, seeing the awestruck look on her face, "cause, baby, you're smoking hot."

I leaned back away from her and picked up my glass as I stood up to head back to the dance floor, willing her to follow me with my mind. I knew my stunt had worked when I felt her slide her palm into mine and turn me to face her, huge smile in place.

A new song I didn't recognize was providing a sensual and smooth rhythm, and we began dancing again. This time, we were facing each other, with our legs alternating, putting both of our right legs between the others and grinding impossibly close, faces only inches from each other.

"You know, for someone who _says_ she doesn't know what she wants, you sure seem to be _showing_ me what you want."

I looked at her for a second, thinking about what she said. I subconsciously pulled her closer into me, still dancing, but I must have had a curious look on my face. She gave me two quick squeezes where her hand was on my side, snapping me back from my thought and to the moment. "Are you okay?" She seemed so hesitant asking me that.

"Yeah, sorry San, I don't know where I went there." I gave her the biggest smile, "I'm really, _really_ good."

"Are you sure? You seemed a little checked out there. Did you even hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard you. I guess I was just thinking about what you said. I hadn't thought about that. I'm just doing what feels natural."

She smiled and paused, and we continued dancing, our bodies moving effortlessly in unison with each other.

"Would it be totally out of line to tell you that, what feels natural for me, right now… would be to kiss you?"

I looked at her a little surprised at her brazen comment, and the pause must have made her nervous because she spoke again before giving me an opportunity to respond.

"I'm sorry, that was way too fast. I shouldn't have said that." She was beating herself up, mentally, and I had to stop her. I reached up and cut her off by placing two fingers on your lips and shushing.

"I'm just…" She stopped and her eyes went wide.

"You're so cute when you're worried," I said, and couldn't help but laugh. "Baby, when the time is right, you'll know it's okay. You have to trust that I won't go along with anything that I'm not okay with." I leaned in close and kissed her on the cheek, and then rested my head on her shoulder. As if planned, "Just a Kiss" by Lady Antebellum washed over the speakers. Santana wrapped her arms tighter around me as I was closing my eyes and allowing the scent of her perfume and shampoo to make me forget everything else.

"I should have told you this earlier, but I love holding you, too. I've always loved it." She kissed the top of my head and it seemed as though the entire world, except for us, disappeared into the background.

* * *

><p>The rest of the night was a total blur. Santana and I danced until the DJ was done, taking every chance we could get to steal glances and driving each other wild with our roaming hands. The lights were coming up, and Rachel had treated us very nicely in the drinks department. I looked over at Santana, who was trying so hard to stand upright, when I realized that neither of us were going to be able to drive anywhere. I slipped away from the table and pulled out my phone.<p>

It took all my strength to sound sober as I spoke to my mom. She would kill me if she knew I had a fake ID.

"Hey, Mom. Yeah, sorry it's a little later than you asked, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to stay at Santana's tonight."

"Okay, dear. Be home by eleven tomorrow; you have things to do around the house this weekend."

"Yes ma'am. Eleven it is," I smiled and hung up the phone. As I turned around I saw Santana staring at me, looking very buzzed and very confused.

"Why are you on the phone instead of over here with me?"

She looked slightly upset, but still totally adorable.

_Gosh, I am falling fast_.

"I was calling my mom, baby. Telling her that I'm staying over with you tonight." I sat down and took her hands in mine as I said this. She smiled a huge, drunken smile, and I melted a little. "C'mon, San. We can't drive yet, so let's take a walk."

We stood up and made our way out into the cool, fresh night air. I linked my arm in hers to steady both of us. And we started walking towards a park not far from BreadStix. We got there and walked up to the playground. There was a little plastic hut that led to the slide, and we climbed up the ladder and Santana laid down. I gladly laid next to her and rested my head on the front of her shoulder as she wrapped one arm around me. I placed my free hand on her stomach and started drawing circles over her shirt onto her abs. I felt her body tighten up and I looked up towards her face.

"Tickle?" I said with a smile.

"No, it doesn't tickle. It feels _really_good. I just still can't through to my head that this is all happening. I can't believe I've told you how I feel, and I can't believe that you're not running away. The opposite, almost, you're…" She looked so serious and genuine, but her voice broke and faded away. She didn't know how to finish the sentence. For the first time since her break down towards me the past week, she was letting all her guards down.

I pushed myself up with one arm, resting on my elbow and looked down at her. Her hair was splayed all around her head, framing her face, and her gorgeous brown eyes seemed to glow in the light from the stars and street lamp. I stared at her for another few moments, and then slowly lowered myself over her face, pressing my lips into hers. I brought my other hand up from her stomach and rested it on her cheek as I deepened the kiss, wanting to feel all of her. I sucked at her top lip as I felt her hands caressing my lower back. She slowly licked my bottom lip and I opened them so she could slide it into my mouth. She began squeezing my body, pulling me deeper into her. When our tongues touched for the first time I felt my entire body shiver, and I could feel her heart beating so heavily into my chest.

Finally, I had to pull away so that I could breathe, and I rested my forehead on hers. Very quietly, not wanting to break the moment I brushed her cheek with my thumb and said, "Santana, believe it. Believe that I'm not running. Believe that I realize there is something here, with us, that is stronger than anything either of us has ever felt. I still don't think I know entirely what _it is_, but being here with you feels so comfortable and right. And I'm so sorry I've been fighting it. But, believe this all, because it's happening, and, if you'll let it and want it, this will keep happening..." I kissed her again, lightly and pulled away.

"And it will happen again,"

*Kiss*

"And again,"

*Kiss*

"And again."

After those last two words she shifted her position and turned me over onto my back, with her arms still wrapped around me. She came down and got another kiss, this one more heated and wanting that before. She moved down my neck, kissing and sucking down until she was at the pulse point in the crook of my neck. I put one hand on the back of her head, letting my fingers get lost in her brown curls as I closed my eyes and let her send chills up and down my spine with her tongue's dance on my neck and collarbone.

Without realizing it, I let out a low moan,

"San..."

She stopped what she was doing, and met my eyes again.

"Brittany, I have imagined this moment, having you in my arms and kissing you, so many times. But it was _never_ this good." She smiled and I pulled her lips down to meet mine again.

After making out for over half an hour, both of our lips were going numb, and we were running out of breath. She laid on top of me, her head resting on my chest. I could feel her heart beating on my stomach, and I couldn't help but smile.

I was combing my fingers through her hair when she looked up at me, resting her chin on my chest and staring into my eyes.

"Brittany Pierce, I think I'm falling in love with you," she said, with a single tear running down her cheek.

I just looked at her for a few moments before wiping away her tear.

_She's falling in love with me? I was so not expecting that._

"San," I said quietly, "I... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, Britt. I know this is still new to you, and I don't expect you to be able to say that back to me yet, or ever. But you've been so open and honest with me tonight, so I just want you to know how serious I am about this. About you."

"Well, you're right. I don't think I am ready to say that to you, _yet_. But, I can tell you this," I smiled wide as I continued talking. "I love being around you, and I love being _with_ you. I love holding you and I absolutely die every time I feel your hands on my body. I loved dancing with you tonight. And this," I pointed back and forth between us, signaling that I was referring to how we were currently laying, "... this definitely needs to happen a little bit more often."

I reached down and pulled her up to meet my lips again, slightly biting on her lower lip and felt her groan into my mouth. "Yeah, Santana, that's something else I am growing fond of." I winked at her and kissed her again, this time more softly, more gently.

She rested her head back on my chest and after a few silent moments I realized that she had fallen asleep. I had known from years of cheer camps and sleepovers that she twitches as she falls asleep, and I could feel her arm twitching, as it loosely wrapped around my waist. Then, the twitching subsided and she so softly snored. I smiled to myself, remembering that this was how I knew she had fallen asleep at her house that fateful night. Just like that night, I wrapped my arms around her again and felt myself start to drift off.

_Yeah, I could definitely get used to this._


	12. Chapter 12: Caught

**A/N: This chapter, unlike the others, is from Santana's POV. Also, there is a scene in here that may seem familiar, but read it in full. It has been slightly rearranged and altered to fit this story better. Hope you enjoy, and sorry for the delay in posting!**

I felt a cold, sweaty hand tugging at my arm, but each time I tried to open my eyes, I was blinded by the sun bearing down on me.

_Why is it so bright?_

"Santana Lopez! ¿Qué diablos haces? GET UP RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!"

I felt myself being tugged into an upright position, and I sat up and looked around.

_Am I outside?_

I looked around again for a moment, trying to take in my surrounds. I was still in the tiny hut on the playground where Brittany and I must have fallen asleep the night before.

"SANTANA! ¡Mírame!"

I look over at all the yelling, and instantly jump up, banging my head on the ceiling of the plastic playground we were in. As I rubbed my injury I climbed out and stood at attention, staring at a much older version of myself.

_Shit! Shit, shit, shit!_

I looked over at Brittany, who had climbed out the other way, and was now ghost white. We had talked about what we would do if our families (specifically my grandmother) ever caught us, but we never thought it would be this soon-the morning after our first date. We are all just staring at each other, different emotions running across all of our faces. I feel fear and confusion, and I can tell that Brittany shares those with me. But she also seems to have a touch of sadness across her face. It breaks my heart to see her looking this way; it breaks my heart to see her hurt. My attention is diverted back to my grandmother-the wake-up call-when she obviously clears her throat, wanting me to look at her.

I didn't look at her. I couldn't. So I looked at my feet.

Finally I sputter out, "What are you doing here, abuelita?

"Well I should ask you the same damn thing, mija! Do you have any idea what time it is? Or how long Mrs. Pierce, tú madre y yo have been looking for you? I called you probably twenty times! Why didn't you answer? Why were you sleeping here? With..." She paused and looked over at Brittany. A disgusted look crossed her face and I could tell she was doing all she could to keep from slapping Brittany across the face. "Santana, what are you doing here with _her, like that_?" As she referred to Brittany, she lowered her voice to a sneer and nodded her head in Brittany's direction, as if I wouldn't have known who she was talking about. I silently slid my phone out of my pocket to check for the missed calls. It was off. The battery had died.

_Great_.

"It's almost one o'clock, Santana. Brittany was supposed to be home at eleven. Her mother called us looking for her, because she said you two were sleeping over. Now, do you want to explain what _this,_" she pointed her finger between the two of us and towards the hut, "is all about?"

There was silence for a few moments, until the lone blond opened her mouth.

"Ms. Lopez, I can explain." The sound of Brittany's voice surprised me. I didn't expect her to speak, but I was grateful for it, because I was at a loss for words.

"No, Brittany. I don't care what _you_ have to say. I want to hear this from my mija, _gracias._" Her voice dripped with disdain as she thanked Brittany in Spanish.

"No, _Abuela_." Brittany used the familiar term, the one she had used with her for years. It seemed to strike a chord as my grandmother softened slightly and turned towards Brittany for the first time today. "You need to hear this from me, because it's my fault, and I'm not going to let Santana take the blame for something I did."

We both just stared at Brittany. She was being so bold, standing up to my grandmother that way. The tone of her voice when she said she wasn't going to let me take the fall was so... so... protective. She was protecting me, and I had to hide a small smile cross my face when I realized where Brittany was going with this.

_She's going to take the fall to hide us. To shield me from trouble._

"Abuela, I got drunk at BreadStix, and told Santana I needed her to take care of me. I knew I was going to be sick, and I knew I couldn't handle it on my own. I needed fresh air, so we walked here, and she held my hair back and got me water and all that good stuff. Then we just accidentally fell asleep. I swear we didn't mean to. It's all my fault, and I know how irresponsible I am, and I won't blame you if you don't want her to see me. But please _do not_ be mad at Santana for doing the right thing and staying with a friend in need."

_She's good_.

My abuela just stared at Brittany, and then at me, and then back at Brittany for almost two minutes before speaking again.

"Santana, let's go. You have things to do around the house. We'll talk about all of this later. Brittany, you can walk home from here, correct?"

"Yes, Ms. Lopez."

"Good. You will see Santana at school on Monday, I'm sure, but you are not to call or text or come over until I have a chance to talk to Santana about this. Is that clear?"

They stared into each other's eyes, both expressing pure contempt for the other. I felt like I was being pulled between two of the most important women in my life, and I didn't know who I wanted to win the stand-off. I really really care for Brittany, and I love being with her. The thought of being cut off from her for the next few days cut straight to my heart when I heard my grandma's words, but it was what I expected. After what felt like an eternity of a silence that said so much between the two of them, Brittany spoke again.

"Yes, ma'am. You're perfectly clear."

She looked over at me and her gaze softened. She still looked pained, and I knew we were both savoring the final moments we had of looking at each other before she pulled me to her car. We didn't say anything as we walked in opposite directions to our respective cars, but we didn't have to. We were both simply replaying the conversations we had the night before. That's what we would have to live on for the next few days.

When my grandmother and I got into the car, I immediately turned to her.

"How did you find us?"

"Well, around eleven-thirty _Brittany_'s mother called the house looking for her. When I told her you two hadn't come home last night, we put two and two together and figured you had gotten drunk and stayed elsewhere. We looked all over the place, and called many of you and _Brittany's_ other friends' parents. But no one had seen you. So I went to BreadStix, not knowing where else to even begin looking for you. I saw _your _car and knew you couldn't have gotten far without it. From there, it wasn't hard to find you two, seeing as though your feet were tangled up with _hers _and sticking out of that playground."

I silently nodded, understanding. It all made sense, though I cringed every time she changed her tone of voice when referring to Brittany. The hate that filled her vocals saturated the car, and I felt dirty for almost the entire ride home. When we pulled into the driveway, she stopped me from getting out of the car. She had more to say.

"Santana, I don't know if I believe the whole, 'got drunk and couldn't drive' shpeel that _she _gave me, but that's still no excuse for the position I found you two in this morning. No one should ever see that." She stopped talking, but I could tell she wasn't actually done. "I don't like you being friends with her anymore. I don't like the path she is bringing you down. She's getting drunk, and bossing you around and forcing you to take care of her. And she's putting you in _those_ _positions_. She's just using you, and she's forcing you to _sin, _mija!"

That's it. I had had enough.

"Abuelita, STOP."

"SANTANA!"

"No, abuela. I don't care about manners right now, because you are crossing lines that I didn't even know existed. First of all, you don't have to act like it pains you to talk about her every time you speak her name. Secondly, we were both drunk last night. Yes, I was drunk, too. And it wasn't the first time. I'm not the little girl I used to be. I'm not the little granddaughter that watched you knit for hours while you insulted me for years. I'm growing up. I'm meeting people and making friends, and believe it or not, you can't pick and choose my friends like you did when I was little. You can't just stop letting me see someone because you saw them pick their nose or their parents are Jewish or any of the annoying reasons you used to come up with to eliminate my childhood friendships." I took a deep breath. She started to talk again, but I quickly cut her off.

"Yes. Your fears are true, abuelita. I love girls the way I'm supposed to feel about boys. It's, it's just something that's always been inside of me, and I really want to share it with you because I love you so much. But you're making it so hard for me right now." I took a another breath. "I want you to know me… who I really am. When I'm with Brittany, I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love. And I've tried so hard to push this feeling away and keep it locked inside. But every day just feels like a war. And I walk around so mad at the world, but I'm really just fighting with myself. I don't want to fight anymore, I'm just too tired. I have to just be me. But you are so special to me. I've watched you my whole life, and you've always been so strong, done exactly what you believe, and never cared what anyone else thought of you. I want to be like you. I want to be strong. But I can't be strong with this secret inside, so I won't let it be a secret anymore."

We sat in silence in the car for an eternity.

"Please, abuelita, say something."

"Everyone has secrets, Santana. They're secrets for a reason. I want you to leave this house. I don't ever want to see you again…"

"Abuelita, please… you don't…"

"Go!"

"I'm the same person I was to you this morning!"

"No. You made your choice. Now I have made mine. It is selfish of you to make me uncomfortable. The sin is in the scandal when people talk about it aloud. Get out. Get out of this car, and then get out of our house."

"Abuela…" It barely left my lips through the tears threatening to spill out over my cheeks. "I don't want to leave, can we please just tal…" My sentence was cut short by a stinging pain on my cheek as my grandmother's hand collided with my face. Again, she slapped me again, and again. Three times. I grabbed her hand and pulled it down. I didn't hurt her, I just held her arm away to prevent her from hitting me again, and then I looked up again and to her face. I could barely make out the blurry figure in front of me through my teary eyes.

My hearing, however, was still precise enough to hear every horridly low and hateful word that came out of her mouth.

_"Don't touch me. Me disgusto."_

I threw open the door, still barely able to make out the sidewalk to the porch in front of me. I thrust myself to the door, almost in slow motion, still hearing Spanish slurs behind me as I ran up to my room.


	13. Chapter 13: Aftermath

**A/N: This chapter is also from Santana's POV, but I'm thinking of going back to Brittany's. Is there a preference, or do you like seeing both, occasionally? Thanks for the reviews and alerts… they really motivate me, so please keep them coming on this chapter!**

The tears were falling so fast that I could barely see where I was going, but I felt my way up the stairs and to my room. I immediately locked the door and pulled out my phone to text Brittany.

*Can u come get me? Like, now?*

I grabbed my Cheerios bag and started throwing other things in there: toothbrush, extra underwear, a few shirts, a pair of jeans, and my phone charger. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I was trying to stifle the tears.

_I hate it when people know I'm crying. Just go away!_

There was pounding on the door.

**Knock Knock**

"Yeah, like I'm about to let you in here after what you just did to me! Irse, abuela!" I was yelling, and it was making my throat start to hurt. But anything was better than the rest of the pain I was feeling. There was a pause, and then I heard a voice float through the door and the handle started jiggling.

_This wasn't grandma._

"Santana, what is going on? What's wrong, honey?"

_Mom! Thank God!_

I ran to the door and flung it open, wrapping my arms around my mom's waist and burying my tear-stained face into her chest. I felt him return the embrace, and I lost it. I don't ever remember crying this hard before.

"San, it's ok. Whatever it is, it's ok."

"No it's not okay, mi hija! Why don't you ever stand up for anything?"

I peeked around my mom and saw my grandma marching up the stairs. I immediately let go of my mom, and before she could react, I turned back into my room and shut and locked the door behind me. I looked at my phone, and the light was flBritting.

_Brittany_!

"Madre, what the hell is going on?"

I could hear the confusion in my mother's voice as she turned her attention back to her quarantined daughter, "Santana, what has gotten into you? Come back out here!"

"No, Mom! Not with her out there! I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of actually succeeding at giving me a black eye this time!"

I heard my mother gasp.

"Madre, what did you do?"

I flipped open my phone and read the text.

*Of course. On my way. U ok?*

I typed furiously, ignoring the family outside my door as my grandmother yelled some lies about Brittany messing up my life.

*No. I'm coming to stay w u. that ok?*

Only seconds passed before she responded again.

*def. its ok. ill save u.*

I couldn't help but smile at that. And it hit me, that, no matter how bad everything around me was at that moment, Brittany was still able to make me smile. My attention was averted back to the argument outside.

"Mom, I don't care WHAT Santana does, there is NO EXCUSE for hitting her!"

"Hija, you didn't hear how she was talking to me. You didn't _see_her and _Brittany_ and the way they were laying together. I had to do something!"

I blocked them out again for a few moments while I went back over everything I had in my bag. I knew I didn't have to bring a ton of clothes because I could wear Brittany's when I wasn't wearing my Cheerios uniform. Plus, I knew this wouldn't be a permanent solution to anything. I heard the doorbell ring and I wanted to run downstairs and jump into Brittany's arms, but I knew I wouldn't get past my grandma.

"Momma, that's for me. Will you go get it? I don't want to see abuela."

"Santana, don't be ridiculous!" This, from my grandmother.

"Of course, Santana. Whoever it is, I'll bring them right up."

I heard the doorbell ring a few more times before my mom got to it.

_Brittany must be really worried about me._

I heard two pairs of footsteps ascending the stairs, but the sound of their feet was soon drowned out by more screaming.

"Oh no no no no no. No en mi casa! Brittany, get out of my house immediately!"

"Uh, okay, Ms. Lopez. I'll do that in just one second. Let me just get Santana first, then I'll be out of your hair."

She spoke in a deadpan voice that usually made everyone else think she was stupid or oblivious, but I knew it was just an act. I laughed a little bit on my side of the door before hearing another outburst.

"Like HELL you'll leave with my granddaughter. Apparently crystal isn't very clear in your world, because here you are! Mija, I can't believe you let her in here! Well, you're DEFINITELY not getting into Santana's room."

"Mom, let her in here!" I had started crying again, afraid of what my grandma might do to Brittany.

"Santana, don't worry! I'm not leaving without you!" This time, Brittany's voice sounded so desperate.

Finally, I heard my mother's voice. Though stern, it was very calm and collected.

"You know, Alma, you're right. I don't stand up for what I believe enough." I knew my mother was mad if she was calling her mother by her first name. I cringed, afraid that my mom was about to throw Brittany out.

"Thank you, mija. Now get _her_ out of here!"

"Gladly. This is no place for her."

With that, I heard my grandmother utter something very confusedly while my mom busted my door open with a strength I didn't know she had. I stood there, somewhat amazed at the sight, and noticed the smile on her face as her hand stretched out towards me. My mom was a petite woman, but she always had a fire in her. It's where I got mine from. It was so good to see it right now. I felt a small smile cross my face, through the tears, and picked up my bag, suddenly realizing what was happening. I grabbed my mother's hand tightly as I let her guide me out of the room and towards Brittany. She stood between me and abuela the entire time.

When I finally reached Brittany, I dropped the bag and pulled her in so tightly, resting my head into the crook of her shoulder, trying to stop crying. I felt her kiss the top of my head and she picked up my bag.

"Come on, baby. Let's go."

As she led me down the stairs and out of the house I turned to give my mom a smile of appreciation. She was standing in front of my grandmother at the top of the stairs, with one arm outstretched behind her; holding my grandma in her place. I tightened my grip on Brittany's palm as we crossed the threshold into the warm day and silently walked to her car. She opened my door and let me in, putting my bag in the back seat. She entered from her side of the car and started it immediately. I think we were both secretly afraid that my grandma would come running at us with rosary beads or something. As we pulled out into the street, I crossed my arms and rested my head on the window, looking out at nothing in particular. I didn't realize it at first, but I was shaking slightly. Brittany must have noticed though, as I felt her soft hand on my upper arm, and it slid down to the inside of my forearm, lightly pulling me closer to her. She went the rest of the way down with her hand, finding mine and intertwining our fingers with our palms pressed impossibly close to each other. We rested our hands on my lap for a while, and then I felt her pulling it up to her. I turned my head to face her, and as she placed a light kiss on the back of my hand, I noticed for the first time that she was crying.

"Britt," I said very quietly, "why are you crying?"

She wiped away her tears with her free hand and spoke even more quietly, "Because, without even knowing what happened back there, I know it was bad. And I know it's not going to get better that easily. And I just _hate_," she stressed the word 'hate,' "_hate_ to see you cry. To see you hurt."

I put my other hand on top of hers, holding it between mine as I kissed each one of her fingers until I saw her smile.

"I'll explain it later, baby. Today has been an incredibly long day, and it's still the afternoon. Can we just go get in your bed and snuggle?"

A huge smile crossed her face, and I couldn't help but do the same.

_It's so good to be with her right now._

Brittany and I rode to her house, both scared and excited at the same time. After a fantastic date with each other, an explosive first kiss, and some totally truthful conversation between the two of us, it felt as though we have been together for years. I couldn't stop staring at her the rest of the way to her place.

I spoke gently, "You have no idea how happy you make me, Brittany." She looked over at me with a quizzical smile on her face.

"Seriously, Britt. Thirty minutes ago, my grandma was slapping me in the car and I could barely see through my tears, but now that I'm with you, I really don't even care..." Brittany cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

"Santana, she hit you? Why didn't you tell me? Oh fuck no." Her eyes had grown wide and her face was fuming red. She kept mumbling as she stopped the car and started to pull a u-turn in the middle of the road.

"What are you doing?"

"Going back there to kick her ass."

I laughed at the blond next to me. "Brittany, you didn't let me finish talking."

"Are you laughing, San?" She was obviously confused.

I sighed. "Pull over."

She obliged and as she put the car into park I reached over and grabbed both of her hands, turning her to face me. I leaned in and gave her a soft kiss that lingered as I reluctantly pulled away.

"Brittany, listen to me. Look at me." I tilted my head to the side and smiled widely. She looked back, still confused.

"Santana, I don't get it. Why are you smiling?"

"Brittany..." I couldn't help myself and reached back to the back of her neck and pulled her into another kiss. This one was more passionate. She kissed me back roughly and I moaned slowly, feeling her bite at my bottom lip. After several minutes of this, we stopped to breath and I could tell she was blushing. I rested my forehead on hers and looked into her eyes, only inches from mine. We whispered to each other.

"Why, Ms. Pierce, are you blushing?" I pulled my lips into a sly smile.

"Yeah, I think I am." She smiled slightly before speaking again. "Santana, I'm so sorry."

I lifted my face a bit farther away from hers and grew concerned.

"For what?"

"For what happened with your family. I knew we were going to have to deal with it sooner or later, but I wanted us to get settled first, I wanted to make sure that things with us were stable before any of that happened."

"You've really been thinking about that kind of stuff, Britt?"

She blushed again, "Yeah… I've been able to only think about you, and us, for a week or so now. I've probably thought about it all."

She sighed, "I still can't believe she hit you, San." She pulled her right hand out of my grasp and placed it on my face, rubbing my jaw line and cheek bone lightly.

"Brittany," I said, "You're being so sweet, and I love, love that you've been thinking so much about us being an 'us,' but you have got to just sit there and be quiet for a minute, ok? You keep interrupting me," I laughed a little, "and you just don't get it right now."

She nodded.

"When we were on my street earlier, and I said that I wanted to 'just go get in your bed and snuggle,' there was a reason for that. I knew it would make me feel better. But it hasn't even taken that. This ten minute drive to your house," I paused and looked around, "well, _almost _to your house," I corrected, "has been all I've needed to feel better. Just holding your hand, just looking at you. Kissing you. I've never felt like this before. You don't have to be mad at my grandmother for me, because as far as I'm concerned, when I'm with you, she doesn't even exist. It's just you and me."

She finally started smiling and leaned towards me, brushing a light kiss on my forehead, and cheek and lips, so softly.

"I love kissing your cheek," she whispered, almost absentmindedly. We locked eyes again.

"Well, I guess I am glad I finally let you finish talking." She winked at me and started the car back up. In less than two minutes we were getting out of her car and she was leading me into her bedroom. I walked over and laid down on the little couch in the nook on the side of her room. Brittany's family wasn't super rich, but somehow her bedroom was huge, with an entire sitting area on one side, towards the window.

"Find a movie to watch."

"Okay... ummm, what kind of movie are you interested in, San?"

She was riffling through what looked like twelve stories of DVD's and I said, "I don't know, something lighthearted. Maybe a romantic comedy?"

"Of course. You're such a cheese, Santana."

I smiled and looked over her body as she bent down looking at all the titles.

_She is so beautiful_.

"Oh, I know!" She went running over to her nightstand and whipped out a DVD, waving it around so I could barely tell what it was.

"Oh yeah, good choice, babe! _Sweet Valley High _used to be our thing, didn't it? I haven't watched that in forever."

"Yeah!"

We both laughed as she put the first DVD in and grabbed the remote, walking over to me.

"Sit up, San."

"Oh c'mon, Britt, I want to lay down."

She smiled at me. "I never said you couldn't! Here, look." She bent down and lifted up my head, slipping onto the couch and grabbing a pillow from off the floor, she laid it in her lap. She patted it and looked at me, expectantly. I understood, and rested my head in her lap. I felt her rest her right hand on the side of my stomach as she messed with the remote, trying to start the movie with her left hand. Finally it came on, and about 20 minutes into the movie, I felt the fingers from her left hand start stroking my hair and running through my scalp.

"Mmmm, baby, that feels good." I looked up at her out of the corner of my eye and I saw a smile cross her face as her gaze met mine. She leaned down and kissed my temple and whispered in my ear.

She leaned down and kissed my temple and whispered in my ear.

"Seriously, San, I don't think you have any idea what hearing you say 'baby' does to me. Because, if you did, you definitely wouldn't moan while saying it when I've got you alone in my bedroom."

I felt a rush through my entire body as I felt her breath on my neck and face. I couldn't believe she had just said that. From the girl that wasn't entirely sure she had feelings for me just a few weeks ago, to now _that_. Something so, _sexual. _I suddenly didn't care about the show anymore. I rolled off my side and onto my back so I could look at her more directly. I placed my right hand on hers that was now on my stomach and interlocked our fingers, reaching up to her face with my left, I pulled her down into my lips. This kiss was so slow and sensual, I could feel her pulse through her lips and into mine. Our tongues lightly pressed into each other's.

I felt her hand carefully release itself from mine and begin to roam over my abs and stomach, finding the space of bare skin between my shirt and jeans. I gasped and my entire body tensed up.

She looked at me, concerned, "What is it? Are you okay?"

I smiled weakly, as my entire body felt like jello from that touch. "Yeah, I'm fine. Your hand is just cold, that's all," I paused for a second and felt my eyes light up with a fire in them, "but it felt good, _baby_." I stressed the last word on purpose and Brittany's face lit up with lust.

"Oh, is that how you want to play, huh?" She smiled and the last part of that sentence was muffled as she pushed her lips back into mine again. Her hand moved back to where it was on my stomach, gently sliding under the material of my shirt and began tracing patterns on my ribs and abs. I couldn't restrain myself as a moan escaped my from lips and into hers. I sat up some, pushing her back into the couch more as I kissed her more deeply than we had before.

"Let's go get under the covers," I said, between kisses.


	14. Chapter 14: Under the Covers

_**A/N: We're back to Brittany's POV. I hope you enjoy! Also, we're getting to the end of the story as I had planned/written previously, but I'd love your thoughts on where else you'd like to see it go from here. Leave 'em in the reviews! Also, notice the change in rating!**_

_"Let's go get under the covers_,_" __I said, between kisses._

I stood up quickly and pulled Santana to her feet by her wrists, pushing my body and lips into hers again as we stumbled our way to her bed.

"Wait, wait, Brittany..."

I suddenly realized what kind of look Santana was giving me.

"Brittany, are you sure? I mean, we... I don't have to... ugh, oh god, Britt..."

I was kissing and sucking on her neck, standing inches from her bed as she tried to formulate this sentence.

"You were saying?" I asked, slyly, while still assaulting her neck.

She grabbed my face with both hands and pulled me up, eye to eye with her.

"Brittany, this is just all happening so fast. You know you don't have to do this, right? I mean, I don't want you to regret anything."

"San, the only thing I'm regretting right now is that this has never happened before. Now quit acting all concerned and kiss me again."

She smiled and pulled my face into hers, as we both slowly sat on the bed, not breaking the kiss. I laid her down and rolled over on top of her, my right leg between hers as I let my hands run up and down along her sides. I know from the 'girl talks' we used to have when we were just friends that she is normally the aggressor in situations like this. I was glad that she was allowing me to take this at my own pace.

Her hands were still on my stomach, under my shirt, and I could feel them drifting upwards towards my chest.

_Is she right? Is this really what I want?_

The truth is, I'm not really sure if this is what I want, but I know it feels too good to stop. I move off of her lips and begin kissing the pulse point on her neck. She tilts her head to the side, and I see her close her eyes and raise her chin up slightly.

_Good, she is enjoying this_.

Slowly, I know she is hesitating, I can feel her hands inch under my shirt further towards my breasts. I start kissing up her neck to her ear, taking her lobe in my mouth and sucking on it. Finally I whisper, "San, it's okay." I unlatch from her ear and bring my eyes to meet her chocolate brown ones. I see understanding there, and she gently cups both of my breasts over my bra, massaging them softly. I momentarily close my eyes, savoring the feeling, and she leaned up and kissed my right eyelid. I couldn't help but smile.

_This Santana is so cute. She has a reputation for being such a 'bad girl' and she talks so much game about how she's from 'Lima Heights Adjacent', but when it comes right down to it, she's a big softie. I wish everyone else could see this softer side of her, so they'd understand how wonderful she is, but I like being the only one she opens up to, too. She is being so caring, and so careful. I can tell she is nervous; we both are. I am just so grateful that she is so loving like this._

I sit up slightly and grip the bottom of my shirt with both hands and begin to raise it up over my head. Santana removed her hands from my breasts and stared at me as I threw it off to one side, tossed my hair a little and looked back down at her, smiling.

I was straddling her now, just over her waist. The look on her face said everything she needed to say. She looked over my body and lightly traced a mirroring path down both sides of my body from the tops of my shoulders, around the sides of my breasts, down to my stomach and around to the small of my back, which she used to pull my back down on her.

We had both seen the other in various states of undress hundreds of times while getting ready for Cheerios, but I knew this was different.

Her light touch sent a chill wave through my entire body, and I was suddenly enveloped in goosebumps. As she kissed me with the most tender lips I have ever felt, I knew she could feel me shiver. She broke away from the kiss and shifted out from under me, grabbed the covers and ripped them down. She put her hands around my waist and guided me to the now bare bed.

"Lay down baby, I'll keep you warm."

She kissed the top of my shoulder repeatedly and reached back, grabbing the edge of the covers as she laid me on my back. She crawled on top of my and pulled them up to our shoulders, still kissing mine.

"Brittany, you are absolutely breathtaking."

Her gentle kisses moved to my collarbone and I felt one of her hands reach up and start rubbing on my left breast as her other arm propped her up. My breathing was growing heavier, but her techniques to warm me up were working, as I could feel a cold sweat coming on. My hands were running all down her back, finally making their way to pure skin as I found the strip of exposed skin between her shirt and pants like she had to me earlier. I didn't hesitate, and I began pulling her top off of her. She sat up slightly and allowed me to toss it aside. I gasped internally at the sight of her near naked torso.

_She is so gorgeous_.

She laid back on top of me and I met her lips with mine, once again. Instantly, our tongues began to explore the other's and in a matter of seconds, we were both fumbling with the other's bra clasp. After a few frustrated movements, I undid Santana's and slid it off of her while arching my back to make it easier on her to do the same to me. She kissed down my neck again, this time, passing the collar bone. Her hands were roaming over my now bare breasts as she pulled on my erect nipples slightly with the 'V' between her index and middle fingers. My hands, which were on her lower back, began to grip and claw at her skin. The pleasure was becoming overwhelming. Little moans began escaping from my lips. Santana's own lips responded by replacing her right hand and sucking at my breast. She placed light kisses around it while being much more aggressive on its pink center, pulling slightly with her teeth.

Without realizing it, I shifted my lower body, bending one of my legs and bringing my knee up into her, as she was still straddling me. She most definitely noticed as I felt her body push into mine hard in return. This was like nothing I had ever experienced with a guy.

By this time, normally they are grunting and pushing and pulling, and basically doing everything they can to pleasure themselves, short of forcing themselves on me. But not this. Santana was being so gentle, so caring. Each advancement she made was with caution, testing the waters to see what my reaction will be. Every stroke, every kiss, every touch, has more passion in it than anything else I have ever experienced.

"Oh San..." finally escaped my lips, though huskily and low. It didn't sound like my voice; it sounded like lust.

"I... oooo... I think I..." She lifted her head up from my breast and looked at me as our clothed hips still slightly rocked into each other. "No, oh god, San, please don't stop." I placed a hand on the back of her head and guided it back down to my breast, gasping when she took it in again.

"I... mmm... I.. " Goodness it was hard to say this with her on top of me, but I didn't want her to stop, and I didn't want to wait any longer to say this.

All of the emotions are rising up inside me. I can't think clearly. Santana's lips and tongue are still dancing on my breasts and I can hardly breathe it feels so good. I need to stop this. I need to say what's on my mind. I pull her face away from my chest with one hand and twist our bodies over with the other.

I was laying on top of her now, my knee still roughly pressed up between her legs. I was leaning over her, my hair falling all around her face. I stared into her eyes for what felt like an eternity when I was awaken from my daze by her fingers tracing along my cheek. I finally realized that she was speaking to me.

"Britt, Brittany. I know you said to 'quit acting all concerned and kiss you' earlier, but you're really scaring me with that look on your face. What just happened? What were you trying to say earlier?"

I leaned in and kissed her again, silencing her. My hands rubbing down her neck and shoulders, caressing her breasts as she had done mine earlier. My mind was racing a thousand miles an hour and the only thing I could concentrate on was the beautiful brunette that was half-naked under me.

I knew what I wanted to say. Correction, I knew what I _needed_to say, but my vocal chords had frozen and the only part of my mouth working properly was my tongue. Apparently Santana agreed that it was working, because I could feel her start to writhe and hear her moaning into my mouth. It was getting me hotter and hotter, and further and further away from speaking my mind.

I nipped and sucked my way off of her lips and down to the space between her breasts. Her hands moved to the back of my head, running her fingers through my blond tresses as I teased her more with my tongue.

"Oh god, Britt... I love this so much..."

Though, with those words, I knew she had forgotten about the incomplete sentence I had started earlier, it was those words that brought me back to it. I felt the water rising into my eyes and I stopped kissing her chest. I sighed and lowered myself completely onto her, our bare stomachs and chests in complete contact with each other. I rested my head on her shoulder, facing away.

"San, that's what I was trying to say earlier... I, I love this too."

"Wait a minute, I really don't get you right now, Brittany. Look at me."

I lifted my head up, and rested our foreheads together. Her hands were tracing circles on my lower back. She gave me a little smirk and said, "Well if you love it so much, why'd you stop?" I could see the desire build up in her eyes and I hated myself for stopping. But I just had to.

I had to say this.

"I stopped because I need to tell you something." I took a huge breath, and I realized that her face was growing stiff with fear.

"No baby," I gave her a soft kiss, "... nothing bad."

"This whole day, waking up with you in my arms, feeling you kiss my forehead at my parents, holding your hand in the car, kissing you, touching you, no matter what it's been, it hasn't been enough. It hasn't felt complete."

"Well, Brittany what else can I..."

"Shhh..." I said as I pecked her lips again.

"It hasn't felt complete because I haven't been completely honest." I was whispering now. She cocked her head to the side, curiously and I smiled as genuinely as I knew how and continued. "I told you a lie. I am ready. I am ready for anything and everything that comes with being with you. I'm ready to be open, I'm ready to," I got even quieter and blushed as I said this, "I'm ready to _make love to you_. But more than anything-and this is the part I lied to you about-I'm ready to love you. I'm ready to be in love with you." I kissed her with all the feeling that hadn't spilled out of my mouth already.

"I am so in love with you, Santana Lopez," I softly whispered into her ear...


	15. Chapter 15: The Morning After

**A/N: This chapter is in Brittany's POV again, and also definitely more deserving of the "M" rating than the previous… so consider yourself warned! Thanks for the kind reviews and alert settings!**

I woke up to the feeling of soft lips brushing my cheek and a hand caressing my arm. I smiled and as I opened my eyes, they were greeted by soft, smiling brown ones.

"Good morning, beautiful."

I blushed, "Good morning yourself."

I gave her a light peck on the lips and sat up, rubbing my eyes out.

"Ugh, what time is it?"

"11:45."

"Damn, how did I sleep that late? How long have you been up?"

"Only about half an hour or so. And it's okay, after all, you _did_ stay up a little late." She smirked at me and I threw a pillow at her, hitting her squarely in the face.

"Yeah, and that, my lady, I blame on you!"

"Hmmm, well Britt, you didn't seem to really mind last night when you were moaning my name. That, by the way, was totally hot." She had crawled over and into me, kissing me hard and started to lay me down on the bed. I didn't fight back, and let her lips and fingers trace the contours of my body as I replayed many of the events from the previous night.

_I told her I'm in love with her._

I smiled as I remembered her reaction.

_She stared at me, liquid slowly collecting in her eyes._

_"So in love," I whispered again._

_"Brittany, I know I've already told you this, but I love you too."_

_She kissed me, repeatedly pulling away to say those three words, over and over again._

_"I love you. I love you. I love you."_

_I couldn't help but laugh at her as I returned the kisses fervently._

I was brought back to the present by an excessively drawn out assault on my neck, in just the spot that she had discovered drove me wild. I gasped slightly and started massing the back of her shoulders as she shifted on top of me, getting more adventurous with her hands.

I drifted off into the memory of last night once again. We hadn't made love the night before. I think we were both too emotionally spent from the events of the day to take another huge step like that. We rolled and thrashed around in each others' arms, crashing into lips and breasts and skin for hours though. Our breaths were heated, as were we. It just didn't seem necessary to either of us to go quite that far. It was absolutely perfect.

"Brittany..."

Santana's heaving, breathing moan pulled me back towards her lips. Both of us were still topless. We slept that way. And I could feel Santana's hardening nipples pushing on my chest and stomach as she took my bottom lip in her mouth, painting it with her tongue. I was suddenly aware of how into this she was, and so I decided to act. I ran a hand down her side, past her ass and to her outer thigh, gently massaging it until I pulled her leg up and out, bringing her hips lower and into me. I consciously raise my leg and start a rhythm of my thigh into her center, massaging her lower back to the same beat. I feel her moaning and groaning into the breast that she has latched around, and I start feeling myself get very hot and bothered.

"God San…" I gasped as I felt her bite down onto my nipple and my hips naturally started grinding against hers in want. Her hands lit up my torso as they felt all over my stomach, sides and breasts. I was growing wetter by the second, and I began to get the feeling that we were going to finish what we didn't quite get to last night. I wanted to feel her all over me. Even though I told her that I was ready for this, I knew she probably wouldn't make the first move. With everything that happened the night before, she let me take the lead. I moved my hands off of her thighs and back and ran them down her arms until I linked both of our hands. She kept up her work on my breasts as I pulled our hands onto my stomach.

I flattened both of her hands on my stomach, placing my hands on top of hers and slowly started sliding one down towards the top of my shorts.

"Santana..." I breathed, barely audible.

Her head tilted upward and the look in her eyes was indescribable, still while running circles with her tongue around my nipple. I slid her hand a few inches further. Our fingers, directly on top of each other, had just peeked under the waistband and my breath caught.

_I want this more than I have ever wanted anything in my life_.

"Santana... please..."

She lifted her body up the bed towards me and wrapped her free hand around my neck, pulling me in for a heated kiss that made me want her even more. I could feel my thong begin to get soaked and the feeling of her thigh pressing into me was making me head spin. My breathing became very thick, very heavy. I moaned again, gasping for air.

"Santana, please, pleeeeaaasseee." I took in a huge, long breath at the end of this desiring moan as I felt her fingers moving, on their own, down into my shorts, under my thong and lightly caressing the outer lips of my center.

She started running her fingers through all of my wetness, back and forth and all around, very lightly. Teasing me.

I could feel her smile seductively at me as she trailed kisses down my chest and over my stomach.

"I love you." She whispered.

As she spoke those three simple words, she slipped her middle finger into my folds and rubbed it over my clit. My entire body jerked at the rush of sensation. She didn't waste any time, but she wasn't rough. She was so gentle. So loving. She dipped her finger into me, running it in circles inside of me, pressing on my clit with her thumb. My hands were now on her back, digging holes into her skin. The scene quickly moved from sensual and loving to carnal and urgent.

"Oh my god, baby... oh my god, oh my god!"

I hadn't even felt anything like this. This was unworldly. She began a slow but steady rhythm, and as I began getting closer, she added another finger.

My eyes were closed, my head tilted back and my mouth agape with pleasure. Moans and gasps and words spilling out of it uncontrollably. I felt myself growing closer and my words got louder and more desperate.

"Santana, oh... I'm going to... oh yes! I'm going to..."

"Come on baby, cum for me, let go baby, let go..."

She was whispering hot breath onto my ear and neck and she took the top of my ear into her mouth, running her teeth along it while she picked up the pace of her hand. She felt my walls contracting around her.

"Look at me, Britt... look at me."

I opened my eyes and turned my head slightly, meeting her brown orbs. She bit the bottom of her lip, and all the while, with me writhing in painful pleasure beneath her, I could still only think of her beauty.

I began to grind faster, faster. I was so close.

"Keep your eyes on me, Britt."

I nodded and moaned all at once.

"Ohhh, Santana, oh gooood yessss."

She was pumping her fingers in and out of me feverishly when she rubbed her thumb over my clit once more, sending me over the edge. I grabbed at her shoulders, trying to hold on as the waves of my orgasm came cycling through. I was sure I would fall off the world if it weren't for her, holding me.

She kissed me hard, but briefly as she then trailed her lips down my chin, neck, breasts, stomach. Her hands grabbed the top of the boxers she had worked inside of and pulled them down quickly, moving right back up and grasping my hips on either side, kissing her way up my thighs. Though I was still winded from my climax, I opened my legs and her face disappeared, kissing the inside of both thighs, licking up all of my wetness along the way. She ran her tongue from the bottom of my opening to my clit, which she promptly took into her mouth and sucked gently. Before even having the time to fully recover from the first one, I felt another rush of pleasure rising inside me.

"Fuck Santana! Oh yessss... mmm..."

She sucked all the way down, getting every bit of wetness that I let out. Sticking her tongue into me, she swirled it around and used her lips to apply pressure in all the right places. I was absolutely lost in this feeling. I came for the second time in under three minutes and I reached down, pulling her back up to me where I promptly flipped over and crawled on top of her, pulling her lips into mine.

"That was so amazing, Santana."

"Oh, I know." She winked.

"Really? You're going to be arrogant right now? And to think, I was going to return the favor..."

I know she didn't get my sarcasm because her face immediately dropped and she started trying to back pedal, all while my hands were gripping and pulling at her breasts.

"Oh, Brittany, I didn't mean it like that. I'm really glad that you enjoyed that and I would..."

"Santana, would you please just shut up? You're ruining the mood."

I smiled and kissed her. Without hesitation, I plunged my right hand into her shorts and began massaging her over her panties. My hand already had her all over it. She was wetter than I had been. A wave of confidence and mischief came over me and I began whispering in her ear while I played with her through the lacy material.

"Hmm, Santana, what's gotten you all hot and bothered?"

As I said this, I slid one lonely finger under her thong and rubbed the top of her mound while the rest of my hand kept rubbing her entire slit through her panties. She gasped and smiled at the same time, but remained speechless.

"Cat got your tongue?" I asked, smiling slightly.

Her wit, however, was still apparently fully intact as she replied, "Yeah well, you know, pussies seem to like my tongue."

I shook my head at her as I leaned down and sucked her neck, speaking through bites.

"Don't you dare ruin this with your sass, Santana."

She gasped again as I pushed the rest of my hand under the material and it was now massaging and roaming the area under her thong. Her hands hastily reached for my arms and she dug her nails into them, moaning loudly.

"Much better use of your vocal chords right now." I rasped.

"Shit, Brittany, just do me already."

Her words turned me on all over again and I instantly pushed two fingers into her, hoping that I was doing it correctly. Her hips began grinding against my palm and a makeshift, but rough rhythm formed between our two bodies. Between gasps and heavy breathing she made out a complete sentence.

Only moments later, feeling all of her wetness in my hand and seeing her sweaty body squirming under me, I found a desire I didn't know I had. I pulled her shorts down to her knee, as far as I could, with my free hand and kissed my way down her stomach. She kicked off her shorts and underwear without hesitation.

"Britt, you don't have… to… just because I…"

But she immediately grew quiet as I saw her throbbing clit and licked it, kissed it. Her silence lasted all of about three seconds, as she began moaning her way through her orgasm. I felt all of the blood rushing to the site of my lips and my fingers. She was bucking over and over again, and I tried to hold her hips to the bed with my free hand. I removed my fingers and replaced them with my tongue, lightly at first, slightly uncertain. She was absolutely soaked and I licked most of it up as her body started to slow and her breathing began to regulate itself. I kissed her inner thigh and rolled off of her, lightly blowing on her warmth, sending goose bumps over her stomach. I climbed up next to her and rolled her to her side, so her head was resting on my shoulder, running my fingertips over her taught stomah. I kissed her forehead and wrapped our legs into one another as we both tried to slow our hearts.

She placed her warm hand softly on the side of my face and guided my lips to hers. This kiss wasn't passionate and heated and deep like all the others. It was tender and full of love.

"I could stay like this, tangled with you, forever."

Those were her words, but they could have just as easily been mine.

We didn't say anything else for a while, and I must have dozed off at some point, because I was awaken by the distinctive sound of Santana's phone ringing. It was her ringer set for home, which I'd learned after years of being attached at her hip. I rolled off the bed and walked, still naked, across Santana's room to her phone to silence it. I didn't check the caller ID. I didn't have to.

Since Santana and I arrived back at my house, I had completely forgotten about what had happened with her family. About the fact that she, in essence, had run away to my house. I forgot she had been hit. I turned crawled back into the bed.

"What were you doing?" Santana hadn't woken up to her phone, so I had to fill her in.

"Reality."

"Oh."

She looked so saddened, and I curled up into her again, placing my hand on her cheek, stroking her cheekbone with my thumb.

"You should probably call your mom, baby. It could have been her checking on you. It is almost three now."

"Or it could have been my grandmother, calling to tell me I'm going to hell. And I don't really want to deal with that. Not now. Not when I'm this happy."

I smiled, knowing I was able to make her that happy. She kissed me once again and rolled over, standing up and clawing around for her clothes.

"What are you doing, baby? Come back to bed! I want to kiss on you some more!" I flashed the most innocent smile I could muster and she laughed at me.

"I want you to as well, but all this physical exertion has made me hungry! You stay here." She walked over, took my hand, and kissed the back of it. "I'm gonna run down the street and get something for us to eat. Stay here, and I'll be back before you know it."

"Yes ma'am!" I said laughing, thankful to be with her.

She grabbed my car keys, waving them in my direction so I knew she was taking my car, and headed down the stairs and out the front door. Not ten seconds after I heard her leave my phone rang. It was Santana's ring tone, and I had to laugh. I crawled over to the end of the bed and reached down to get it, flipping it open.

"And what do you want?" I said with a giggle.

"You. Naked, still. Don't you dare get dressed. I want that beautiful body to be the first thing I see when I get back."

I could feel her smiling through the phone and I knew she could tell the same about me.

"Oh, _yes ma'am_." I said, emphatically.


	16. Chapter 16: Let's Play Games

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter as much as the last, it's a small plot development, some fluff, and some filler, so hopefully you're not disappointed after the big sex scene last time!**

**Thank you again for the reviews and alerts. I have a question for my readers, though. How did you first stumble across this story, and how do you know I've updated? Do you find me through Tumblr, or just browsing FanFiction? If Tumblr, was it mine (brittanablog) or did someone else link to the story? My page views have been wildly different from chapter to chapter, so I was just curious how everyone is finding me. Thanks for letting me know in the reviews!**

After almost half an hour, I heard Santana pull the car back in the driveway. A minute or two later she opened the door and I heard a *thud* as she dropped what I assumed was our food.

"Britt, what did I tell you about the clothes? Why are they on?"

I could feel her brown eyes piercing into my back as I sat at the computer still, back to her. I knew she had an evil grin on her face.

"Heather got dropped off, San. I really didn't want my sister to walk in on me stark naked. I'm sorry, baby."

"Ugh, bitch…" I heard Santana mumble, barely audible.

"Ummm, excuse me? What did you just call me?" I whipped around the in the chair, staring at her incredulously.

"Oh, no! No! I wasn't talking about you! I meant Heather; I swear, I would never call you that…"

She had rushed over to me and placed one hand on my thigh and another on my shoulder, looking into my eyes.

"Oh, right. Heather. My bad," I smiled and pulled her down to me in the chair by the back of her neck, "I still don't think it's appropriate to call an eight year-old a bitch, but since you're already over here, you can make it up to me…"

I kissed her heavily and felt her lower her body onto my lap, one leg on either side of me. Our mouths pulled at each others' and I pushed my tongue through her lips, pressing on hers. The moans escaping from Santana sent vibrations through the kiss and I slowly started to run my hands up the back of her shirt onto her bare skin. Having her straddling me like she was really turning me on, and I began to tug on her shirt, wanting it off right then.

Santana pulled back and placed a finger on my lips. We were both slightly out of breath and I repeatedly tried to kiss her, wanting to taste her mouth again, but she didn't remove her finger and she didn't return the gesture. After a few attempts she giggled simultaneous to me groaning.

"Brittany, you're so cute."

"And you're a tease!"

"Oh come on, we've been in bed all day! I can't believe I'm about to say this, because trust me, seeing you want me this bad is a huge turn on, but there is another primitive urge that is tearing me up right now. I really need to eat. Besides, like you pointed out, your sister's home."

"Who cares about her?"

"Well, you did earlier. And since you denied me the pleasant sight I was hoping for because of her, I'm denying you this, because of her."

_God I love this girl._

"And besides, didn't you eat something earlier?" I winked.

"Brittany!"

I smiled and pulled her in closer than before. I only got one hard kiss in before she pulled away again.

"You are unreal Brittany. Absolutely unreal," she was laughing as she stood and walked over to the bag on the floor. I sat in the chair, arms crossed and unmoving. I was very irritated and I made it known. When she turned and saw the stubborn look on my face, she came back over and returned to her position of straddling me, bag in hand. She placed a light kiss on my lips that I didn't return and softly said, "I got subs. Veggie or Turkey?"

"Hmph" was my only reply.

"Oh come on, Britt. Don't do this." Her voice was a bit louder now, and I could hear the concern in her voice. I avoided making eye contact, but was secretly enjoying this game with her. She lowered her head, and I thought she was going to kiss me again, but then her mouth moved to my ear. She placed a few kisses that I could barely feel on the skin of my neck just below the ear before whispering softly.

"Trust me, Britt. There is nothing I would love more than to spend the rest of the day—the rest of my life—with my lips pressed against yours. But we're going somewhere in a bit, and I think I'll die if we start something we don't have time to finish." She looked at me with pleading eyes, internally praying that I would accept this.

"We're going somewhere?" I was confused.

"Yeah. We need to leave in about an hour."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise!" I couldn't help but smile at how excited she seemed at the thought of surprising me.

"Wait, was that a smile, Ms. Pierce?"

"Yes, yes it was, San. Gimme a sandwich, I don't care which one. But you're not out of the woods yet. You still better make up for this later."

"Oh, trust me. I will!" She wiggled her eyebrows up and down with a seductive look on her face. I couldn't help but laugh. After unwrapping both sandwiches, she gave me half of each and we turned on the TV.

We sat on her couch, eating the food and watching The Disney Channel for a little while, laughing, stealing glances and playfully touching each other.

_This is Heaven._

Finally, Santana looked at the clock and jumped up.

"We need to go!"

We grabbed the essentials and left, yelling "Bye!" to Heather on our way out. As we pulled out of the driveway, I tried to ask her where we were going again, but she simply smiled and shook her head. About ten minutes later, we pulled into a drive, and I looked at the sign, laughing.

"Are you serious? I never pictured you to be much of a putt-putter, Santana, but I _love_ mini-golf!"

"Yeah, I know. I've actually never been, I have no idea what to do, but Mike said you used two go all the time after dance classes."

"When did he tell you that?"

"Earlier today. He called my cell while I was getting the food. Apparently, he tried calling you, but you didn't answer. We're meeting Mike, Tina, Puck, Quinn, Sam, and Mercedes. They wanted us to join, and I figured it might be a good chance to let them all know about us, if you're comfortable with that."

"Oh," was all I could squeak out, as I suddenly had knots all in my stomach. I was totally comfortable with _us_ being _us_, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for everyone to know. But I didn't want to disappoint Santana, either.

"They're actually probably already here. We're a few minutes late, thanks to someone's temper tantrum earlier."

"HEY!" I yelled and playfully slapped her forearm. She seemed oblivious to my concern, so I tried to get over it and play along.

"Ouch! Brittany, that hurt!"

"Well that's what you get. And, you better watch it missy. Another comment like that—insulting me for _wanting you_, and you'll be the one being cut off."

"So we've turned to idle threats now, huh Brittany?"

"Oh, there's nothing idle about that threat. Try me." I tried my best to look convincing, and I'm pretty sure she saw right through me, but she humored me and just nodded with a serious, stern look on her face and got out of the car. As we walked to the front door of the clubhouse where the arcade, food court and counter to buy balls and clubs were, I saw Mike's car.

"Wait a minute, San." I grabbed her hand and stopped her, turning her to face me. It suddenly hit me how odd it was that my Mike would invite Santana and I to something with only other couples like this.

"What else did you and Mike talk about earlier? You and Mike aren't exactly friends."

She must have been able to read the worry on my face. She smiled, reassuringly, but looked embarrassed. She pulled me into a hug.

"They know, Brittany." She spoke softly and then looked into my eyes again. I paused.

"About us?"

"Yes. He called looking for you. I think he wanted to ask about the choreography for one of our numbers in glee club, but I told him I would have you call him later. When he said he was going on a triple date and wouldn't be available, I asked if we could make it a 'quad-date,' or whatever. I'm sorry, I didn't think about whether you'd want people to know or not. But these are our friends, and you know they're totally cool with it. But I'm so sorry if you're not ready for this. Once I told Mike, he insisted that we come, and assured me that he'd let the others know so there wouldn't have to be some sort of awkward explanation for why we're here."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"Cause I thought it would be a good surprise. What's wrong, babe? Aren't you happy about this? Your whole family is okay with us, our friends are. I just want to _be_ with you, all the time."

"Yeah, I guess. It's just weird."

"What do you mean by weird?" She looked offended and I reassuringly squeezed her hand.

"Nothing about you. I already knew you were weird." That statement elicited a smile from her. "I don't know, I don't how to word it. It's just new, San."

"Well, do you want to ditch?"

"Of course not! Now, let's go. I'm going to get a kick out of seeing you try this for the first time." I kissed her quickly on the lips and we walked into the lobby.

I instantly saw Tina and Mercedes standing by the air hockey table, looking incredibly bored as their boyfriends played each other. We started walking over to them and suddenly I stopped again.

"Santana…"

"Yeah, what's up, babe?" She turned and faced me, looking concerned, she took my hands in hers.

"Please don't be offended by this, but I'm really nervous."

She gave my hands a squeeze again and spoke gently, "It's okay, Brittany. I know. This is all still so new to you. You do what you need, and what you want. But I want to do this together." I smiled weakly and she let go of my hands, turning back towards our friends. As we got close, I reached over and interlocked our fingers, holding onto her tightly. There was one thing I knew that would make all the awkwardness and uncomfortable feelings go away: Santana.

Quinn was the first one to see us as we approached.

"Brittany! Yay, you're here!" She threw her arms around me and gave me a huge hug. I returned it with one arm, not wanting to break my hold on Santana's hand. As she pulled away, she glanced down quickly at our hands and smiled wide. She immediately leaned back in for a lighter hug and whispered in my ear.

"I think it's great."

That was all that needed to be said, as all my butterflies disappeared. I looked at Santana, who hadn't heard what she said. She looked worried for me, so I smiled wide and pulled her body closer to mine, looking back at Chelsea.

"Yeah, Quinn, I do too. Thanks." She laughed and stepped out of the way of the others who were approaching.

"Puckerman," Santana said, slightly sarcastically.

"Lopez." He gave the two of us a ridiculously disgusting look, and I can only imagine what was going through his head, seeing us standing there, holding hands.

Santana cocked her head to one side. "Knock it off, Puck. We are not here for your entertainment."

Quinn, who hadn't noticed his leering, snapped her head to the side and gave him a healthy slap to the chest, mumbling what I assume was a threat under her breath.

"Yes! Victorious again! Take that, bro!" We were interrupted by Sam, triumphantly taunting Mike over their game. He did a ridiculous looking victory dance and Mercedes shook her head at him and turned back to Santana.

"Well that's not embarrassing or anything." Mercedes stated, dryly. We all laughed heartily, and Sam called over, asking what the laughter was about.

"Nothing, dear. Girl stuff." Mercedes giggled and gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek.

Mike came around from his end of the table and gave me a big hug, which I returned with both arms this time, breaking Santana and I's grip for the first time since we walked in.

"It's good to see you Brittany. I'm really, really happy for you." He whispered it in my ear, but it was loud enough for Santana to hear. I could see Mercedes, Tina, Sam, and Puck all giving her hugs while Mike and I spoke.

"Thanks, Mike. I'm happy, too. I'm well taken care of." I blushed slightly, and noticed that Santana overheard me and was blushing along with me. She took my hand in hers again, which didn't go unnoticed by Mike, who grinned wildly. He turned towards Tina and stood behind her, arms wrapped around her waist.

"Hey Mike," Santana said.

"Hey San. Don't make me kick your ass, okay?" Santana chuckled deeply and squeezed my hand ever tighter.

"You have nothing to worry about, Chang." She glanced over at me and winked.

The way she said it so confidently, I couldn't help but believe her.


	17. Chapter 17: The Pier, Redux

**A/N: My readers are awesome. That is all.**

After a few more minutes of chatter in the arcade, we went over to the counter to get our balls and clubs for a rousing game of putt-putt. I went up to the counter and reached in my purse to pull out my wallet when Santana hip checked me to the side and gave me a mischievous grin.

"I don't think so, baby. I got this."

"San," I said, laughing, "it's okay, I can pay for putt-putt."

"No, you can't. I can though! This was my idea, so it's my date. I'm paying."

"You're sweet." I leaned in and planted a lingering kiss on her cheek. The guy behind the counter's eyes bulged and a creepy grin crossed his lips. Santana was quick to respond.

"You're gross. Go buy a glossy, perv." We laughed as we walked behind the others towards the first hole. Mike and Tina shot first, and when Tina did better than Mike, he got a good rousing. Mercedes had insisted that Santana and I go before them, so we stepped up to the 'tee' and Santana just stared at me, blankly.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Britt."

"Ok, put your ball on that dot."

She obeyed, and then I stepped in behind her, wrapping an arm around each side of her waist and running them down her arms to her hands. The rush of passion that I had felt earlier in her room returned, and I froze for a moment. The front of my body was on fire as I pressed into her back and I was temporarily lost in her scent. Seconds later, I was snapped out of my daze when I realized, once again, that we were supposed to be playing mini-golf, and she was standing there, putter in hand.

"Britt?" She spoke so softly.

"Uh... yeah, so, step to the ball."

We walked ourselves a few steps forward and I gripped her hands, placing them where they should be on the handle. I whispered in her ear, and saw tiny goosebumps grow on her shoulders as I instructed her.

"Now, baby, keep your arms straight. Try and hit the ball in the middle of the line on the head of the putter. Swing your arms gently but firmly, right at the hole down there." She paused, and still didn't attempt to hit it. "Here, I'll swing with you this time."

Her 'OK' response was whispered and we slowly swung, barely missing the hole on the first hit.

"Oh man! That was so close, San!" She turned around to face me, and I realized that her face was flushed red and her eyes had darkened two shades. "Yeah, uhh... that was great, Brittany. I got it from here." She smiled at me, and I knew she had felt the same sparks I had. She was flustered, blushing and stuttering.

_And absolutely adorable._

As she walked down and hit it into the cup with one, effective stroke I prepared myself to play the first hole, when I heard Puck from behind me.

"What, she's not going to molest you while you putt too?"

"What?" I dropped the putter and turned to Puck, anger was radiating off me. I knew he wasn't really okay with everything, but I didn't expect him to be that blatant about things.

"Puck!" Quinn yelled, surprising me. She swatted him on the back of the head, grabbed his elbow and dragged him off to the side, yelling in his ear the whole way.

"I'm sorry, Britt. Ignore the caveman, please." She called over her shoulder at me.

Quinn gotten a lot cooler than she was when I first started at McKinley High, but she still had a little bitchy streak in her. And the smack she laid on his head showed me that she really didn't approve of his comment. I heard Santana walking back over, noticing the commotion between the three of us, but I didn't want her to get in the middle of things. She would pull the razors out of her hair and turn on Puck in a second if she had heard his comment.

"Santana, go on to the next hole with Mike and Tina, please?"

"Brittany, what? What just..."

"Santana," I interrupted her, putting my hands on her belt, "Santana, it's fine, I promise Please go over with Mike."

It was awkward enough having Puck say things like that, I really didn't want there to be a huge scene.

She must have seen the pleading in my eyes, and she started walking over to the couple, but not without shooting Puck a look of hatred without really knowing why. I took a deep breath and walked over to him, glad to see Quinn still shooting him daggers.

"Quinn, give us a second?"

"Sure thing Brittany." She slapped him once more on the arm before sauntering off.

"Puck, look. I know you really have no problem with Santana and I, but this is still all really new, and it'd be much easier on us, not to mention your health if Santana had heard you, to lay off the comments like that for now, okay?"

He looked meek and apologetic, but he tried to cover it up and show off his 'bad boy' persona.

"Yeah, whatever, Britt. My bad." I knew that was about the closest thing I'd get to an apology out of him, so I hugged him and we headed back towards the group when he stopped me.

"Brittany, look. Santana's my girl and all, but I like you, too. Just be careful with her. I don't know what all has happened with you two, but she used to tell me lots of stuff about how she was in love with me. She made me feel like I was the only person in the whole world to her. And then she dumped me two weeks later. So just… just be careful. I don't want you to get hurt, and I know you've got a blind spot when it comes to Santana sometimes."

I froze.

_Was he right?_ _Did she really tell Puck the same things she's been telling me?_

"Go to hell, Puck." I finally squeaked out as I walked away again, and this time, he didn't try to stop me. I knew I'd regret being mean to him later, but I couldn't help it. What he said hurt, and it scared me. I don't usually lash out at people, but just as I was starting to put my guard down, he said _that. _I couldn't stop myself. As I approached the others, they could read my face and everyone instantly started asking me what happened.

"Nothing. Santana," I said, turning towards her, "... remember that thing about wanting to ditch? I changed my mind. Let's go."

She nodded and we gave our stuff to Tina and started walking towards the parking lot. She tried to wrap her arm around my waist but I turned to the side and out of her grasp.

"Stop, Santana."

"Brittany, what just happened? Are you okay?"

"Are you deaf, Santana? I said nothing happened. I just want to go home and have some time to myself."

_Shit_.

"Nevermind, I just realized you can't go home. Your abuela might slit your throat in your sleep."

Santana laughed a little at that statement, but my sideways glare signaled to her that I wasn't trying to be amusing. Her tone got soft, "Well, then where do you want to go? It's up to you. I can just hang out with your sister at your house if you want me to."

We arrived at her car and both got in, just sitting there for several minutes while I thought. She was staring at me, I knew, and I wanted to lock my eyes with hers, but I couldn't. I couldn't shake what Puck had said from my thoughts.

"… _she was in love with me. She made me feel like I was the only person in the whole world…"_

"Let's go to the pier." Santana nodded and turned the car on. We drove over there in complete silence. Santana had tried to hold my hand several times in the parking lot before I decided where I wanted to go, I hadn't let her. As we approached the pier, I looked at her for the first time since leaving putt-putt, and I saw so much worry and sadness in her eyes. I felt my heart drop to my feet and I realized that I had to talk to her about what Puck had said. I reached over and slid my fingers between hers, seeing a small smile cross her face. She glanced over at me and pulled into a parking spot.

_Here goes nothing._

We got out of the car and started walking towards the pier. Santana reached over and took my hand in hers, though I could tell she was hesitant. There were a few families around the pier on the beach playing, and we walked past them in silence, to the very end of the pier. I took off my flip-flops and sat down, staring out over the water. Santana did the same, and we remained silent for a few minutes.

"I need to ask you about something, San."

"Okay, shoot."

I paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "What happened with you and Puck?"

"What? Why do you want to know? I hate talking about exes with my currents."

"Currents? As in, more than one?" I scooted away from her and instantly felt her hands trying to wrap around me and pull me back next to her as she spoke quickly.

"No, Britt, not more than one. It's just you. It's always been just you, even before you knew it."

When she realized that I still wasn't scooting back towards her she buried her face in her hands, and I had to strain to hear her muffled words.

"Why do you want to know about Puck? What brought this on?"

"Just something he said."

"Puck? What the fuck did that asshole say?"

"Hey! Don't talk about him that way. I know he sucks sometimes, but he's a good friend, to both of us."

"What? Now you're defending him? What has gotten into you, Brittany? What did he say?"

I stood up and grabbed my shoes, walking back towards the car without her. She was calling my name, trying to get me to come back, but I just kept walking.

_Could Puck be right about her? Why won't she tell me about him? What does she have to hide?_

A wrenching feeling in my gut was growing stronger, and I realized the physical effect all of these emotions were having on me. Everything was happening so fast. Within two days we had our first date, first kiss, got caught by her grandmother, she had gotten slapped, we both got laid, and now, after all of the mayhem, it seemed as though it may have been pointless.

_She might not mean a word of what she has said to me_.

I was about halfway back down the pier and I knew Santana was following me because I could hear her footsteps. My head was spinning with thoughts and Puck's words. My stomach was churning, and all of a sudden, I felt sandwich from earlier making its encore appearance. I got to the side of the pier just in time as I threw up into the water below. I felt Santana rush to my side and grab my hair. I let her.

"Brittany! Oh my gosh, are you okay?"

As if on cue, I threw up again and Santana mumbled, loud enough for me to hear her, "I'll take that as a 'no.'"

Once the feelings passed, I stood up and turned to face her, but I kept my eyes on the ground, not wanting to look her in the eye.

"I can't talk to you until I know more about you and Puck."

Without missing a beat, Santana started talking.

"Ninth grade, February 4th. That's when we started. We had had several classes together, and had innocently flirted all semester. Then we were paired up to do a chemistry project together, and when we were "studying" one day, one thing led to another. It lasted a little over three months. He really didn't mean much to me, but he was my first 'real' boyfriend, so I guess he still holds that title and importance in my life. But he's no you. He's no Brittany, and no one ever will be. Whatever he said, forget it, because though it might have once been true, you're my life now, and nothing else has been more true or more right in my entire life than you are. The fact alone that I'm talking about him to you should prove to you how true that is, because the mere thought of you not talking to me made all this erupt out of me. You were my best friend while I was dating Puck, so you know what I'm saying is true. Please believe me."

After finally stopping to breathe, she attempted a smile and lifted my chin up with one finger.

"Now will you please tell me what brought all this on? What did he say?"

"Well, for starters, he basically cat-called us and said you were molesting me."

"That fucker."

I chuckled a little at her lame, yet effective burn.

"And, in trying to make me think you're no good for me, he said that you told him a lot of stuff about how much you loved him and how he completed you and all that. Then dumped him two weeks later."

"Well," she nodded, "he's right."

"What? San, but you just said…"

"I know what I just said, but it doesn't make what he said any less true. I did say all that stuff to him. But I didn't mean any of it."

"Obviously." I stated, bluntly and full of contempt.

"But Britt," she took my hands in hers, "I mean it with you. Every. Single. Word. I said it to him when I didn't mean it because I was 14. He was my first boyfriend and I just thought that was what I was supposed to do, and supposed to say. But I haven't ever said anything like that to anyone else. I saw what I did to him, and he'll never admit it, but I messed him up pretty badly for a while. I hated myself for that. I made a promise to myself that I would never do that to anyone ever again. I would never say it until I was sure it was the truth."

"Santana, you do realize that if you break my heart, the entire glee club will kill you, right? They will kill you and then bring you back to life for the sole purpose of letting another one kill you too."

"Brittany, if I hurt you, I'll beat them to it."

"That's so morbid."

"Hey, you started it." She smiled as she said that, and leaned in for a kiss. I leaned closer to her before she put her hand on my face and pushed me back.

"On second thought, you need to brush your teeth before I go sticking my tongue in there." She pointed down to the water where my vomit was.

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right. I guess we should go back to my place then so I can wash up, huh?" I winked at her and turned towards the car. As I walked away she grabbed my ass.

"Oh, Brittany. I did promise you a little something from earlier, didn't I?"

"Oh yes you did, missy. And I fully plan on cashing in on that promise."


End file.
